Always Be Appreciative of Opposable Thumbs

Chapter Thirteen: Fire-Breathing Gophers Are a Real Problem

 Choking on her ale, Sera ducked her head to avoid being seen by the man with the limp. Jyoji furrowed his brow and followed her gaze. Recognition dawned on his face as he took in the dark-clad man with the leather eyepatch. Before he could turn back to her to ask what was going on, she grabbed him by his haori jacket and dragged him away.

"Ouch, ouch—Lady Elsa, what are you doing?" he said as she pulled him through the dining room.

"Shhh," she hissed. "You have a room, right?"

"What?"

"Room, room, a room here at this inn, you rented one, right?"

"Yes, but—"

Without speaking another word, she headed for the stairs. The man with the limp lingered by the entrance, so they were able to slip away undetected.

She continued to drag Jyoji down a hallway of numbered doors until they reached twenty-three. "Stop, stop, it's here," Jyoji said, digging his heels into the floor.

"Quick, get your key out."

"Lady Elsa, I really must—"

"Do it!"

He nearly dropped the key as he hurried to obey. Her eyes darted from the door to the stairs as she anxiously drummed her fingers against the wall. When it was finally open, she grabbed hold of Jyoji again and yanked him into the room, slamming the door shut and double-checking the lock before letting out a long breath.

"Lady Elsa, I do hate to pry, but who was that man? Why are you trying to avoid him? He is the same one from the alehouse, is he not?" Jyoji asked.

Excuse, excuse, excuse. She needed an excuse. Running her tongue over her lips, she thought long and hard, going through every lie stored away in her head. Clingy ex-boyfriend? Evil step-cousin? A librarian come to collect overdue book fees?

Jyoji gasped. "Is he after you because you're dragonkin?"

Pausing, she considered this. Yes, that would work. "Yes, yes he is." She paced the room, wringing her hands and heaving a sigh. "Our people are often ostracized and hated for our ability. Many fear that we will call down dragons to wreak havoc and destruction on them. Some even believe that we are in fact the creatures themselves."

She had to stifle a smile at that last bit.

"How ignorant," Jyoji said, shaking his head. "So this man is one of those people?"

Sera sat on the bed. "Indeed. He's been after me for many years. Claims I sent a dragon to destroy his cabbage farm."

"You didn't, right?"

"Of course not. It was gophers. Fire-breathing gophers."

His mouth fell open. "There are fire-breathing gophers?"

"Anything can breathe fire if it's angry enough. Or if it's eaten something really spicy."

"Truly?"

"Anyhow, he's vowed to get revenge on me and is determined to see me dead. I thought I lost him back in Leefside, but apparently not."

"He wants to take your life because of some cabbages?"

"People can be very passionate about their gassy greens."

There was a knock at the door, and they both froze. Sera searched the room for something sharp or heavy. Finding a chamber pot under the bed, she dragged it out, positioned herself by the door, and then motioned for Jyoji to open it.

It was a serving girl with Jyoji's mandolin case in her hands. "Sir, you left this downstairs."

"Oh, thank you, m'lady," Jyoji said as he took it from her.

"I hope all was well with dinner. You left very suddenly."

"No, no, it was fine, I was just—" His gaze flickered to Sera. She shook her head and sank deeper into the shadows so as not to be seen by the girl. "Um, not feeling well, is all."

"I'm so sorry to hear that, sir. Is there anything I can do for you? I could fetch a doctor. Or run to the apothecary."

"No, no, it was just—" Again his eyes darted to Sera, and she mouthed 'diarrhea' to him. "Diarrhea?"

The girl's face went red, and she quickly looked away. "I'm very sorry, sir. I could have the apothecary brew something up if that would help."

Jyoji blushed a deep shade of pink. "No, no, I'll be fine. Thank you so much, though."

Sera doubled over laughing as he slammed the door shut. "You said it, you actually said it," she gasped between peals of laughter.

Jyoji's grip on the mandolin case tightened. "What sort of lady speaks of such crude things?"

"I didn't speak it, you did. I can't believe you actually said it. Ah, diarrhea. Priceless. Did you see her face? And your face! Ah, so great."

"Is this really the time for practical jokes? There's an angry cabbage farmer out for your blood."

Taking deep breaths, she stood up straight and tried to control herself. "Right, right, priorities."

"Now that we're trapped up here in my room with the farmer downstairs, what are we going to do?"

Surveying the room, Sera weighed their options. They could take a chance and venture downstairs with the hope that the man with the limp had already left. But no, that was too much of a risk. Waiting out the night in Jyoji's room was another possibility. If they woke up early enough, they could sneak out before the crack of dawn. But Willow and Hugo would probably be wondering where she was and why she hadn't come back with any money. And Hugo would probably assume she had done something stupid or dangerous, and he would get all smug and judgemental. And even though he was sort of right, she wasn't about to let him gloat.

Then her gaze happened upon the window. Making her way over to it, she opened it up and peered outside. While they were on the second floor, it wasn't that high of a jump. And there were some conveniently placed bushes just below to help cushion their fall.

"Where is your mule?" she asked Jyoji as she continued to stare out the window.

"The stables here."

"And where are they?"

"Around the back. Why?"

Turning to him, she gave a devilish grin. "Strap on your mandolin case, Jojo, it might be a bumpy ride."

His forehead crinkled in confusion for a moment. Then it seemed to dawn on him, and his face went pale as he swallowed hard. "Oh, no."

"Oh, yes."