getting through

oh Shakespeare

i awake to the smell of bacon its such a foreign scent to me now.i walk down stairs rubbing my eyes then walk to kitchen.my brother jumps from the table and hugs me then recoils.''you stink tee really bad'' i laugh i know i do i haven changed my cloths in two weeks and a day.i see my  dad standing behind the stove and my mom preparing the table.''everyone sit down we need to keep some type of sanity in this family''.i laugh our family was never sane its funny.

i sit at the table and me and my dad start eating.i don't realize my mom and brother aren't eating and look up.''we have to pray first''my mom says closing her eyes and bowing her head i keep my eyes open.when shes done she stares at me from across the table.''why weren't you praying''. i stare her back in the eye challenge excepted i shrug.'' i didn't want to'' i say .''and why is that'',''who would i be praying to for all i know god could be just be as useful as all the others''.''you will pray as long as I'm around''.''well you wont be around for soon''.my dad gets up and says warning '' Athena.''its true if she doesn't pick up a gun anytime soon shes going to die ''.''i will never hold a device that will lead to destruction and you wont make it through if you don't have a religion''.i walk over to her with a smile on my face.''but don't you see ? i have a religion its too fight until the end and that's what i believe in'' .

i walk into the hallway on the second floor and just collapse.i hear footsteps walking up the stairs.''Athena that was out of place and you know it you must never speak to your mother like that again''my dad says .he walk over to me and sits down.i stare at the wall.''look at me''i turn to stare at him blankly.he takes my hand ''i know how hard it is okay .i know how hard it is to take this in ,but you cant die''.''i wont dad that's what I'm trying to do not die''.he looks at me like I'm not understanding something''you !''he says pointing to my heart ''cant die''.and with that my father gets up and leaves hes not a man of many words.

i don't want to let this change me but that's impossible.the things you see changes your attitude toward life but none of it is positive.i can feel it starting and i know its too late.the death of me.its like the ocean waves hitting the shore.washing everything away.that's me.my life now.i want so desperately to go back to only caring about who A is on pll.now i have to wory about which one of my family members dies first.

like the great Shakespeare said whoa is me.