JAKE
I never expected that you could have a broken heart and love with it too, so much that it doesn't seem broken at all.
“Dad how do you know if you really someone?” Napatingin sakin yung dad ko. He looked surprise. And kahit ako, na-surprise din sa sarili ko. Hindi naman kasi ako yung tipo na nagkukwento when it comes to the matters of the heart. I don’t even ask him for tips pag manliligaw ako. I usually do all those things, straight and fast, tapos pag official na tsaka ko lang ipapakilala. I had 3 girlfriends before Kim although pinakilala ko sila, they never really had the chance to fully know each other.
“Anak, what kind of question is that?”
Napakamot ako ng ulo. Slow naman netong erpats ko.
Pagka-harap ko sa kanya, nakita ko na may hawak na syang bote ng JD. Natawa ako and as I laughed along with him, I found myself enjoying this once in a blue moon moment with my dad.
“Di mo ba natatandaan, you’ve asked this to me before!!” Paalala nya.
“What?” My eyebrows rose at that very instant. “You were 15 back then, you just got home from school, yung uniform mo sobrang dumi. And I knew right away na nakipag-away ka na naman. Hindi mo sinabi but I figured maybe you had a fight with some guy.” Pagkasabi nya nun, biglang nag-flashback yung nangyari nun, four years ago, it was my third year in high school just before the prom. Nakipag-away ako kay Harlem dahil sabi nya, may iba na daw syang date and she thinks she’s in love with him. Apparently, the guy that she was talking about was the number one jackass in our school. E wala namang alam yun kundi manloko at magpaiyak ng babae. And syempre bilang best friend, how could I allow her to become someone’s plaything? Plus it was settled na kami yung magiging date ng isa’t-isa even before we reached high school! How could she ditch me with another man?!
“Ano, naalala mo na?”
Tumango ako. And then I thought of that moment, nung nagkasuntukan na kami ni James tapos saktong dumating si Harlem, and what’s worse than a bleeding nose? Yung kinampihan nya si James sa halip na ako. Ako na best friend nya! Naknamputs. Sabi nya mahal nya daw kasi. And then I went home, super saiyan mode, I thought of breaking James’s neck or his face which wasn’t even that handsome. And then when I saw dad at the garden, drowning with his alcohol, I asked him... ‘Dad, how do you know if you really love someone?’
Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko natanong yun. Maybe I just needed an assurance, kung legit ba yung reason ni Harlem. I don’t know.
Dad paused and looked at me. With hesitation, he asked, “Do you really wanna know?”
My mom and dad were like the other couples na napapanood ko from the movies. Their married life wasn’t always perfect but despite the endless and sometimes, petty fights wala sa kanila ang gumive up. Tumawa sya, and in that instant alam ko nag-aaway na naman sila.
Pinaupo nya ako sa tabi nya while he poured another Jack Daniels in his shot glass. Had my mom been there, baka mas lalo pa siguro silang nag-away.
“Dad, are you not going to answer me? Matutulog na lang ako!” Sabi ko na nayayamot na.
“Ano bang nararamdaman mo ngayon?” He asked. Sabi ko na nga hindi nya rin sasagutin pero hindi ko na lang pinansin at sinagot na lang yung tanong nya.
“Well, dad, first of all..” I said as though I was trying to read from a book. “Naiinis ako. Naiinis ako kasi pinagpapalit nya ako dun sa James na yun! Sawa na ba sya sa akin?! Best friends kami so dapat walang iwanan!! Naiinis at galit ako kay Harlem kasi.. kasi she’s so naïve! Alam mo yun dad? My god! What if she gets hurt? Pano pag paglaruan sya lang ni James?! Dad, I don’t want to see her cry, I don’t want her to get hurt kasi that’s like hurting myself too! I wanna be her first and last dance sa prom, kahit nga sya lang isayaw ko, okay lang! Pag pagod na sya, I would carry her even if she complains she gained another pound!! Di ba dad, I even asked mom to get a lighter shade of my blue tux to complement with Harlem’s gown? Nakakainis! Pero dad, alam ko naman na dapat intindihin ko kasi, kasi if she’s happy with him dapat hayaan ko lang… pero dad, I can’t e. And I wanna stay mad at her, right at this moment kaso, tae dad, hindi ko magawa kasi alam ko, iiyak yun. Tae dad!!!” Umiling lang yung dad ko and he was laughing because of my MISERY. Anak naman ng. Ugh.
