pale || prinxiety

anxiety

i sit and ponder on that thought;

'i'm needed, yet they don't want me around thomas'.

maybe it's a case of me putting words in their mouths, by their, i mean prince.

i lie down on my bed, unmade...for the past 3 days, for the past week, for the past long time. i mean, i'm gonna get back into it? what's the point in making it?

...what's the point of even trying to be there in the making of a video if i just screw it up all the time. i mean, roman makes it obvious, patton just tries to much to try and like me and logan is...you can see it in his eyes, he has no filter but tries to be understanding sometimes, his patience must be wearing thin.

i sit up, moving my knees closer to my face, wrapping my arms around my legs and resting my chin atop my knees, staring at the wall. "thomas got on fine the first two sander's sides videos without me there...he'll survive longer" i mumble, closing my eyes, imagining how much happier he would be.

without me to interfere.

i won't ruin roman's plans for an audition, he'll go on with confidence in a bright stride, get the part and not have to worry about...well, worrying.