pale || prinxiety

anxiety

i glance towards the other two, seeing logic place a hand on morality's shoulder and bring him out of the room before i turn to prince, and suddenly, all of the conversations with morality flew out the window, all his advice, even that silly little 'confidence class'.

"uhm...did you wanna say...anything?" prince raises a brow, and instead of sitting next to him, i sit on the floor. "there's...seats?", "i'm not concerned about what is and is not a chair" i retort. "alrighty...".

there's a very uncomfortable silence, looking at each other or around the room, i'm just trying to figure out what to say even though i rehearsed this.
i cross my legs, looking down at my feet, holding my hoodie sleeves, fingers just over the openings of the sleeves. "what were you and morality talking about?" he asks quietly, "...stuff...and things" i reply reluctantly. "what were you two talking about?" i ask in the same tone as he did. "just...topics..." he adds with his lips pursed a little, and i snicker. "what are you laughing at?".

"'just topics'" i make inverted commas with my fingers, and he pouts a little. "i shall not let my feelings be persuaded by your external use of English!" he announces, and i can't help but get the (excuse my 'French') shits, and i'm just giggling my arse off.

"you sound a little like shakespeare" i giggle, and so does he, rolling his eyes a little. "do you bite your thumb at me, dear sir?" he narrows his eyes, grinning though. "I do not disgrace you, my sir!" i reply, bowing jokingly. "my sir, you say? you finally seem to be using the correct titles, anxiety" he smirks, and i scoff, "and yet you aren't using mine?".

"fine, sorry emo lord" he grins, "dial back that attitude mister".

"okay, okay, okay" he snickers. "alright, what was it you needed to say?" he smiles softly, arms on his knees and slouching down. i ponder on my words...maybe even a white lie.

"so, you know how parents will like...say...when a man and woman love each other very much, that kinda thing?" i open, mentally cursing myself. "yeah..?" he replies. "well...when one man loves another man" i begin and his eyes widen and he gasps. "are you...are you coming out of the closet? is this the dragon witch that has been a bane of your existence? your hidden secret that you're gay?" he asks, hands over his mouth.

it's closer than we were. "yeah...i am..."

he squeals loudly, clapping his hands quickly before hopping from his seat and in the blink of an eye, his arms around me.

he's saying something to me but i don't really register it, i just wrap my arms under his so my hands go on his shoulders from the back, his around my chest and waist tightly. i set my head on his shoulder gently.
"i'm proud of you, anxiety".
"i mean...that isn't everything i wanted to say".
he gasps, "did i celebrate too early?" but i shake my head. "for you, there never seems an early time to celebrate" i chuckle.
he moves his arms and so do i, and he sits in front of me, legs crossed like mine. "please, do go on" he encourages, smiling at me.

"well...uhm, when that man finds out he's homosexual, it's usually from an experience from someone...and i had to have found someone..." i continue, fingers fidgeting, my anxiety at a peak...hah...irony.
"well...the person i found that out from was..." i add, glancing his fingers,   thumbs flicking past each other quickly but i see his hand reach out, placing on top of mine, turning my own to hold his, mine is so clammy...

"it's gonna be okay..." he reminds, as if i didn't know...and to be honest, i didn't, which sounds weird, but i'm always planning for the worst.

my voice cracks in the most cliche way, as if this moment couldn't get worse...

"i fell in love with you, roman..."