Treebros Oneshots (connorxevan)

If I could've told you

Evan slowly dragged his feet towards the local cemetery. His eyes were blurry with tears that had yet to fall down his cheeks. He held a single red rose in his hand, and his black folder in the other. After a few minutes, he approached a grave that didn't really stand out. It was small, and had no flowers. Engraved on the stone was the words:
Connor Murphy
1999-2017
Amazing son and wonderful friend

Upon reading the engraved words, the dam broke. Within seconds Evan's cheeks were soaked with his tears, and he collapsed to his knees in the dirt. He let out choked sobs as he stared at the freshly dug grave. After crying for almost twenty minutes, Evan composed himself enough to get up and remove the laminated letter from his folder.

Dear Connor Murphy,

I am so sorry.. this is all my fault. If I had just told you.. you wouldve known someone genuinely cared about you. And loved you.. so much. I've admired you since 2nd grade, and as we grew older I began to develop feelings for you. If I had just told you.. and didn't completely avoid you, maybe this wouldn't have happened. We both would of had something to love and live for. My world has gone dark without your light. And maybe, soon we'll be together again. Even if I have to do it myself. You were the only reason I was still alive.. you saved me after I let go of the tree. But I couldn't save you. That guilt will eat away at me until I take my final breath. I love you, Connor Murphy. For Forever and always.

Sincerely, me

Evan's hands trembled as he gently placed the letter under the rose on top of the mound of earth. He scowled at how Connor's own family hadn't even taken the time to put flowers on their son's grave. Evan kneeled down again, staring intently at Connor's name. He began to sing.

But I kept it all inside my head.
What I saw was left unsaid.
And though I wanted to, I couldn't talk to you..
I couldn't find a way.. I would always say..
If I could tell him, tell him everything I see.
If I could tell him, how he's everything to me..
But we're a million worlds apart.
And I don't know how I would even start..
If I couldve told him..

Evan's voice broke on the last word, tears begining to fall rapidly from his blue eyes. He couldn't control his shaking, and he curled up into a tight ball racked with sobs and grief. As he sobbed, Evan could faintly hear a voice on the wind, though it was loud enough for him to make out.

... I love you too, Evan Hansen.

(Well that was extremely short. sorry about that. I had this idea after listening to "If I could tell her" on repeat, so enjoy I guess.)