Moan {HIATUS}

Nightmare Chinese (4)

Recap:

"Do not go into the door on the other side of the room!" He yells, sounding frantic. Then I finally notice the door, it's the same color as the wood on the bed. Is that mahogany? I walk over to it. The door handle is on this golden box that has a key hole. The handle itself is an oval, with strange designs. "What are you doing? I said don't go over to the door." Zayn shouts through the door.

"I'm not." I really shouldn't lie. Then there is a loud bang that makes me turn. Then the door handle jiggles and the door flies open. There stands a furious Zayn.

"I said don't go over there!" His volume has gone quiet, which scares the crap out of me.

"I-I'm sorry." I step away from the door and Zayn stomps over so he is standing between me and the door.

"When you come here, don't ever go near this door, or even this room!" He growls and I gulp.

"I-I...." I trail off unable to concentrate because he is so close to me and he is so intimidating. His fierce stare softens a little bit. Is he always this intimidating?

"I'm sorry. There are just some things that I keep private." He whispers. I nod, unable to speak. I step back, I can't kiss him. It's not part of the plan, walk away now.

"I'm gonna go back out with the guys." I walk away quickly and back to the living room.

"So he didn't kill you?" Niall says with a yawn. Niall seems so innocent, like a little lamb. I am betting he is one of those people that you have to love because he is just so genuinely nice. Louis whispers something in his ear and he smiles. That smile of his lights up the room. Then Louis whispers something else and Niall gasps and whacks Louis in the arm playfully as he smiles again.

"Uh, no he didn't" I sit back down on the couch. They all go back to talking but I go to thinking. I look around the room. I look at my two best friends.

CeeCee is giggling with Harry about something. Ava and Liam are doing something on their phones, I suspect they are texting each other because they keep giving each other shy smiles, the twats. I'm am so glad these people are in my life, even if some of them are intimidating. Not mentioning any names *cough* Zayn *cough*.

"Thanks for hanging out!" Zayn says as we all exit his flat. We walk to the car park together and all the boys but Liam get in their car. Ava and CeeCee go to our car. I walk slowly, because I think Liam wants to talk to me. Liam grabs my arm and stops walking.

"I need to talk to you." He says. I nod, and he sighs.

"Go ahead." I urge him.

"Look, Sasha, Zayn is closed off. He is, there is no denying it. He won't open up for a while and he may push you away, but he needs you. I can see it in his eyes, he likes you. And he needs someone, he needs someone who won't give up on him. He needs someone who will go at his pace and not rush him." He looks back towards Zayn's door. I take the chance to reply.

"I don't understand." He looks back to me. I notice his facial expression, he is giving me a look of pity. Why in the world is he doing that?

"It will be hard, but I need you to try. Take care of yourself and him. Okay?" I don't get a chance to reply before he jogs off to his car. To say I am stunned is the least.

What? What? No, but WHAT? I am so confused! What in the world is Liam talking about. Why would he say something like that?

There are some things I don't understand about Zayn. Somtimes when we talk he is a bright cheerful person, but then sometimes he has a heart of ice. He has attitude of a sterotypical douche, but I still want to stay by his side. It's so confusing to be around him because he never is the same. I will say something one day and he will smile, I will say the same thing a few weeks later and he will blow up on me. He is practically bi-polar.

He carries himself with the attitude that no one can touch him. He has more confidence than anyone I have ever met. He wears those leather jackets and black jeans like it's his lifestyle, and something I noticed is the necklace he constnatly has on. It is a simple chain with a tiny key. The key has the shape of a sterotypical key but just a smaller version. It is broze and from what I have seen he never takes it off. I asked him about it once and he said, and I quote, "It's really none of your buisness, but if you really want to know. It's the most important key that I have ever had."

I don't know why he has it, but I try not to dwell on it. I try and dwell on how I am going to tease him next. So far we have painted together (I was terrible he was great), we went rollerskating, we have gone out on a couple of "dates" but I made it clear that we were just friends. I sometimes catch him looking at me with such despair that I want to drop the act and kiss him right then and there. I stay strong though, and continue to push him further and further to the edge of madness.

Zayn's P.O.V.

She is beautiful, but she doesn't want me. I want to kiss her, I want to lie with her on the couch and cuddle. I want to have deep conversations with her. She is driving me insane always teasing me; biting her lip, wearing revealing shirts, shamelessly flirting with me. I want to rip her clothes off and fuck her senseless. I can only imagaine what it would be like to have her laid across my bed, her bare skin showing. Then placing soft kisses all over her entire body. Things will go further and she will give me one of her signature smirks. I will flip her over and then-

"Zayn!" Her voice rips me out of my thoughts.

"Yea?" I smile at her. She stares into my eyes and it's like she loses her train of thought. The she looks away, and shakes her head as if to remember what she was going to say.

"Do you want to order takeaway?" She holds her cell and waves it around.

"Yea sure, just not that chinese. I have nightmares because of that nasty chinese." She giggles and nods. I love that laugh, it's so heartwarming. She knows how I feel about her, she has known since the photo shoot. I wish she would be straight with me, just tell me if she fancies me or not. If she did, we could be a fantastic couple, but once she finds out, once she knows what I have done, well, she will hate me. She will find me disgusting.

I am forced to do this, I didn't want to! I didn't want to do this, and now I have to be reminded of it everyday, becasue of that stupid closet. I am forced to watch the result of a stupid mistake, over, and over, and over, and over again. I have to intrude on my my closest mates privacy. I have too see something that no one should see. I don't physically have to do it anymore, but Niall and Louis aren't so lucky, and they don't even know it's happening. I am a horrible person, I am a monster. This is all my fault. If there were an award for worst person ever, I would get it.

"Zayn! Zayn!" Sasha snaps her fingers in front of my face.

"What?" She huffs at my response.

"Where do you go? Like when you daze off? Where are you?" She seems seriously interested. Yea, if she only knew. I bark out a short, quiet laugh.

"Somewhere not very nice." She frowns.

Yea, that's the only response your getting. You will never know...

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Word Count~ 1412