An Abundance of White Blood Cells // [WATTYS 2017]

TWENTY-TWO

"What are you doing Sloane?" Nurse Shilling asked me as she walked into my hospital room with a tray of my lunch. It was Wednesday and I was waiting for Nate and my family to come here, though they wouldn't be here for a few more hours.

"I'm planning my funeral." I replied.

I knew what I wanted it to be too. I didn't want my funeral to be a traditional funeral. I wanted it to be kind of like a party, a celebration of life. No one would be aloud to wear black, only happy colors and there would be a bunch of food. Maybe there would be a DJ or something.

"Why don't you read a book or something?" Nurse Shilling said with a concerned tone in her voice.

"Because I don't want to start something I might not finish." I replied.

Nurse shilling set my lunch down and left the room, looking very concerned. I just laughed and started on my lunch. I'd just finished my plans for my funeral. There wasn't much to plan. I got up and grabbed my note book and five envelopes I'd asked Nurse Shilling to bring me earlier. I was going to write some letters, for when I was gone. First I would write to my parents, the to Gramma, to Rose and Lena, and lastly to Nate.

I began with the letter to my parents:

Dear Mom & Dad,

If you're reading this, then I'm gone. I wanted to write you guys this letter, as one little last goodbye, seeing as I probably didn't get a proper one.

First of all, I love you guys more than anything. I'm so very sorry that I left.

Second of all, do you remember what I made you guys promise me? You do, but I'm gonna refresh your memory.

You promised me that you wouldn't let the grief of my passing consume you. I don't want that for you. It's not right to be in perpetual sadness. It's okay if you guys have moments, when you've finally come to terms with my death, when you just need a good cry. But try and live your life happily. That's what I want for you guys, to be happy. I'm not saying don't be sad, it's okay to be sad.

I have one request that I hope you guys will go though with. I planned my funeral. I left the arrangements in the envelope that this letter was in, maybe you looked at it first, I don't know. I hope that you guys will make my choices for my funeral a reality. I feel like I didn't have much say when it came to my life, so, I'd like to have a little say when it comes to my death.

Okay, maybe I have two requests. The second one being, keep Lena, Rose, and Nate close. They'll need you, and you'll need them. Don't cut them out of your life, because they might remind you of me. You need reminders every once in awhile.

You two better keep your promise. I'll know if you don't. I love you both.

Love, Sloane.

I felt like the letter was too short, but I couldn't think of anything else to say to them. I folded the paper in half and stuck it in one of the envelopes, addressing it to my parents. I set that aside and began on Gramma's letter:

Dear Gramma,

I beat you!

So you're reading this, which means I'm gone. You're probably gonna be the one who gives everyone tough love.

You'll pick them up, dust them off, and tell them to suck it up and be adults about it. I don't know if they'll need that, but I know you'll give it to them whether they like it or not.