An Abundance of White Blood Cells // [WATTYS 2017]

NINETEEN

It was Friday. After school. What Nate had said to me the day before was floating around in my head. I'm not saying we have to, let's just see what happens. What if he felt pressured to try and have sex with me, because it was on my list. I shouldn't have even told him about number seven! What if he didn't wan to do that with me?

I gripped my steering wheel. I was outside of Nate's house. He was already home, I'd timed my arrival so he would be. I nervously glanced at his front door. I was here, I thought to myself. I might as well go in. I turned the car off and ducked out of the car. I walked to the front door and knocked three times. Nate answered seconds later. I smiled a little when he shared the same nervous expression I had.

"Uh...come in." he said, opening the door a bit wider.

I slipped into his house, it looked the same as ever. I heard him close the door behind him. I teetered back and forth on my toes and heels as he gestured to his room. "You wanna go watch a movie?" He asked.

"Yeah...sure." I nodded as I wrung my hands.

I followed Nate down to his room, it seemed tidier than I last saw it. The bed was made, there weren't any clothes lying around on the ground, there even seemed to be a layer of dust missing. I sat down on his bed awkwardly as he grabbed a movie from his video game box. "This okay?" He asked. He was holding up Ferris Bueller's day off.

"Yeah." I nodded.

He popped the movie into the dvd player and joined me on the bed. I had never hated a bed so much in my life. I usually loved them, specifically mine, because it aided my sleep. But this bed...only one of two things could happen on this bed right now. A. We watch a great 80's movie together or B. We do the do.

Nate wrapped an arm around my shoulder, normally I would love having his arm around me, but it just felt awkward and kind of unnatural. I laid my head on his shoulder, because that was what I usually did. We watched the movie in silence. Not the comfortable silence I'd come to love. The awkward silence that made the situation even more awkward.

I didn't even really pay attention to the movie, I was mostly just focusing on Nate's movement. He didn't do much, he would just occasionally scratch his nose. Midway through the movie I started to relax and actually watch it. Ferris was dancing on the float, sing Twist and Shout. This was my favorite part. I moved my foot along with the beat and smiled as the whole crowd joined in on the singing and dancing.

At the end of the scene I did a little air guitar thing, to match the music at the end. Nate chuckled a little, we were looking at each other. Staring almost. We both were leaning in, and kissed. At first I was lost in the kiss. Like I always was. Nate pulled me on top of him, my legs on either side of him. He kissed my neck as I realized what was happening. I was so caught up in the moment I just went with it. Slowly, we went from just making out to taking clothed off.

Nate took his shirt off, and dear God. All I could do was stare. I had to force myself to close my mouth, which got a laugh from Nate. I figured it was my turn, but I was a little hesitant. I mean, his boobs were bigger than mine for god's sake. I took a deep breath and forced my finger tips to pull my shirt off. My bra was a just a simple pink one, nothing special or seductive about it.

I pulled my hair out of it's ponytail. And ran my fingers through my hair a little. Nate ran his fingers over my tattoo. It stung a little, making soreness ripple all over my ribs. His hands gently held me at the waist and brought me close. He kissed my lips gently. It began to become so real. I pulled away.

"Nate...I can't" I shook my head. "I'm not ready..."

Nate sighed. "Neither am I."

"Then why...?"

"At first I wanted to...but, I don't know...I'm just not..." Nate mumbled.

"I get it." I smiled.

I laid down, so I was laying on his chest, his arm went around me. We laid there, watching the movie. Nate took a breath. "Sloane, I...I...um..." I looked up and saw him struggling with his words. He took another breath and looked at me with those green eyes. "Sloane, I love you." He gulped after he said that.

For a minute I was just stunned. So many questions were running through my mind. Why? Was this a cruel trick? Was he saying this because he felt he had to? Was he saying this so he'd get some?

I shoved all those doubts away and told myself that he wasn't Carter. This was Nate and he was good. He'd proven over and over again that he wasn't anything like the people from my past. I smiled at him.

"I love you too, Nate."

He smiled the smile I remembered from before everything had gotten so, complicated. I'd missed that smile. He kissed my hair and we focused our attention back to the movie. All the sudden I felt a little cold, and I remembered we were shirtless.

"We should probably put our clothes back on, incase your parents..." I said.

"Yeah probably." Nate nodded.

He passed me my shirt and put his own on. I was kinda sad he put his shirt back on, it was like Greek God's had sculpted him. I pulled my shirt on and started to pull my hair back up. "By the way," Nate said as I started looping the elastic. "Those are nice." He pointed at my boobs.

My face had never been so red.