Endings Are New Beginnings (Book 1) (Completed)

Part 59 Part 2

I stop short of the door leading into Levi's room so they can't see me yet. What are they going to tell me? Am I ready for whatever it is? I only found out about whatever it is yesterday, but it feels like an age of not knowing. Maybe it's the fact that finding out has me realising they kept whatever it is hidden the whole time I have known them, so it feels like it was all a lie. Especially after finding out about Gerard. Are they just being my friends because Gerard, who they obviously respect, told them to. What do they really think of me? I did not expect to find eight boys who I have become increasingly attached to, two friends who have stuck by me through thick and thin, a stalker who was crazy enough to pull a gun on me, and an uncle I didn't even know about, in LA. It's been a whirlwind, and I am afraid whatever is on the other side of that door is going to make the whirlwind destroy some part of my life, whatever it may be, good or bad. I've got to think about Sophie through all of this as well. She's already been through a lot by moving from England and everything that has ensued, and I don't want to cause her any more harm or upset.

The door opening has me looking around. I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I forgot where I am and what I am doing.

"There you are, we were just going to check that Gerard hadn't scared you off," Jesse jokes, but the underlying expression under the humour shows me that his "worries" were partially true. Did he think that Gerard told me?

"Not yet," I reply similarly, hoping that my joke will only be that. I steel myself for whatever is about to come and step forward, following after Jesse.

I'm probably working myself up over nothing! What's the worst that they can tell me? My mind keeps going from the plausible to the utterly insane.

I look around the room, which hasn't changed much since yesterday. There was a card on the table next to the bed, but everything else was exactly the same. Levi is sitting up in bed, his cheeks holding more colour and looking better all around. Sophie is sitting at his feet. My eyes go to his covered leg, and then back up to his face. His green eyes look regretful and worried. My mind going back to Storm's words about Levi not getting the texts I feel guilty again that I exploited the fact that he was in hospital, and guilty that I probably made him feel guilty about telling me and then left him to wonder how I reacted. I give him a grin to show him I'm not mad and he doesn't need to worry.

"Hi," I say. I weave my way through all the chairs that the guys have seemed to source and place around the smallish room and to an empty one beside Brody and Levi. Although I talked to him earlier on the phone, I look down at his leg again.

"How are you feeling?"

"Alright," he responds as I feel his eyes on me. I look up and see that he is watching me curiously.

"What about you?" he asks. I swallow, knowing he's not just talking about me getting drugged.

"Could be better," I say honestly. I'll be a lot better once you tell me everything, I admit internally but he seems to understand that fact. He gives me a sympathetic smile.

  "Thanks for the food," he mumbles just as Ryder begins to talk, looking directly at me.

"Are we ready to go back to school tomorrow?"

"I don't think Tanner would dare to show up,"

Hm," I say as I look to where Sophie is sitting.

*^*^*

We've been here for an hour, and now Sophie is napping next to Levi. We've been skirting around the subject all afternoon, and have been talking about small things. After a while of them not bringing up the subject, and glancing at Sophie, I realised that they were waiting for her to either leave the room or fall asleep. At first I didn't understand, but then slowly I respected and was thankful for them for doing that. At least if I find out first, I can work out if I want Sophie to find out, and how she finds out. It also gives me some time to get everything straight in my mind.