Breathe (GirlxGirl)

Chapter 22 - Ghosts

Over the next few days, Samantha couldn't shake an uneasy feeling whenever she was home alone or riding to and from Cahoots. She reasoned she had become hyper-sensitive to certain things since she shared a snapshot of her past with Dana and Faith. She must be still nervous about having her secret out in the open. After all, it was something her conscious mind never let escape until recently.  

It was hard for Sam to be vulnerable.  She vowed to never be a victim again.  But, how do you do that with a ghost of the victim you once were, still abiding within yourself? All this was new.  New enough, she thought, to make her feel self-conscious... even paranoid.

Sam slung her backpack over her shoulders, grabbed her keys and helmet, and headed to the door.  Upon leaving, she tucked her helmet under her arm and locked the deadbolt to her apartment.  It was a beautiful October day. Leaves were changing and the air was crisp, but not too cold to ride.  Crimson, yellow and orange mixed with many hues of brown adorn the tree as well as the ground.  A crunch and rustling was heard with each step Sam took toward the parking lot.  She would go hang out at Cahoots for a while.

She liked her new habit. Her classes were over by 2 o'clock, and with no track practice, she could be down to Cahoots by 3:00pm.  She usually spent time with Faith in her office first, after saying hello to Dana of course.  Afterward, she would go hang out at the bar with Dana and do some homework and chat when Dana wasn't busy.  Dana had been working more hours in preparation for the Halloween Bash.  By 6 or 7 o'clock, Sam would either go home or do some more homework in Faith's office as Happy Hour and Supper occurred.

Sam smiled to herself as her mind drifted to the beautiful lips she would soon be kissing.  Never before had she longed to kiss someone like she did Faith.  Kissing Faith was different.  Kissing a woman was different.  It was smooth, soft, supple skin against It's equal.  Nothing sloppy, rough nor rushed.  It was a mutual yielding choreographed by instinct and intimacy.  Sam liked it. She liked it a lot!

Samantha was invited to Faith's for dinner on Friday night.  This would be their first official "date - date." The thought of this took the smile from Sam's face and replaced it with panic.

What if she wants to go farther physically? Sam thought. Her hands became clammy inside her riding gloves.  What if I think I'm ready again and I freak out like before?  What if I can't do this? Sam swung her leg across her bike and sat square in the seat.  She tucked her hair up and placed her helmet over her head, fastened the strap and lifted the face shield.  Just Breathe Sam.  Her bike came to life with a rumble that increased with each twist of her wrist revving the engine. With kickstand raised, Sam began to push her bike back out of the parking spot.  Why did it seem harder to do today? Sam scanned her "baby" from front to back.  She cut the engine, set her bike back upon the kickstand and dismounted, removing her helmet.

"Awe Shit!" Sam whispered as she crouched down to the deflated rear tire.  

Sam fastened her helmet to the handlebars and gave her bike a hard push.  Even for Samantha, this was a workout.  The back tire flopped along with each step like a balloon filled loosely with sand. 

Samantha trudged out onto the bike path separated from the busy street by only a solid white line.  With each whoosh of a passing vehicle, Sam felt a heave of air against her side.  She silently wished, in that moment, she was left handed.  Then she would be on the other side with her bike between her body and the passing traffic.  

A car passed her with it's base up so loud, to Samantha, it seemed like giant footsteps approaching from behind in the distance. As the giant came near, each footstep was louder... and louder... and louder. Once the giant was upon her, it nearly knocked Sam over with the boom inside the traveling jukebox.  It was then Sam saw a 1980 something Honda Civic hatchback. The car was now a low-rider with big fat tires. Sam began to laugh out loud thinking, Dana's gonna love this one!