As She Authored *

tell me

Why?

The things
We should've forgotten,
Are the ones we always remember.

Why?

Why are the ones who were always true... the victim?
And are they always left behind...?

When you came into my life,
I didn't anticipated that you'll be a part of this story.

I'm not the type of girl who just believe without thinking;
And you're not even a guy that could be believed.

I heard a lot of stories about you:
You lead girls,
You're a player,
And you can never be serious.

That's why I warned myself.
I tried to avoid you,
Tried to disregard all your stories,
To believe all your sweet words,
Tried to stop myself from letting you to lead me...

I wished,
That I will be the girl you'll be serious with.

But days has gone by,
Week,
And month;
With you laughing by my side,
Joking ,
Flirting,
And even with us fooling around.

Until it came to a point,
Where I couldn't leave you.

I told myself:
There is nothing wrong on falling.
That there is nothing wrong from letting myself feel happiness.

Leave me,
The important is
I got to have you,
And I got the chance to know you.

I can't forget the day...
When you said you want to settle down.
That you're tired on playing around.

That's why you asked me how to court;
How to lead it to a "Yes".

I admit
I was speechless,
I didn't know what to answer,
That is why you hold onto my hand
And said you're ready to wait.

I can't forget the day...
When you played the guitar for me,
You were looking at my eyes while singing
As if conveying words as if your saying the words "I love you."

I can't forget the day...
When you gave me a rose;
When you would give me all your time;
When you're always making me laugh like there is no tomorrow.
When you hold onto my hands like it's your only strength.

I can't help but believe you love me when you say it,
I can't help but believe all your promises,
I can't help but let myself fall for you...

I can't forget the day...
When you said you'd confess something.
I don't know what I'm feeling;
If I should feel ecstatic or nervous.

But it seems like my life fell apart,
When you said "She said yes."

I was mildly confused...
Because I haven't utter the word "Yes."
That maybe your just beating around the bush,
I asked you what we truly are;
I asked you what am I to you;
And that is when I learned...
That I wasn't the girl you were referring to as the girl you love.

Because you only loved me because
I am your BESTFRIEND!
Because I'm your BESTFRIEND only!

You should've warned me,
I hope you told me this is just a play-thing;
That you're in love with her.
That you're just trying to see on what I would feel,
Just trying to see if it's all effective.
If you could bewitch my stupid heart.
If you could lead me to believe all your promises.

Because you're scared that you would fail.

If only you said something!
If only you said that you'll only use me!
Then maybe, maybe I could've stop my heart.

But I know I don't have the right to be angry, because I was the one who hoped.

I know I don't have the right to be envious, because I can never be her.

I know I can't fight a war where I know I don't have something to fight for.

I know I don't have the right to asked you what we truly are,
Because I was the one who gave meaning to all your doings.

I know you don't have anything to tell, because I'm not the woman your heart is screaming.

I know you didn't have anything to release, because you were never mine.

I know!
I know!

It's easy to be true, but it is hard to accept the truth.

It's hard to accept,
That you can never love.
It's hard to accept,
That all of this is nothing to us.
It's hard to accept,
That you can never be mine.

Hope.
Hope.

I hope I was the one.

-ipobtinalla