As She Authored *

unknown

July 8, 2017

Dear,
Ever since the whole 'talk to me, again' ordeal,

My attitude came sky rocketing...

You left,

My old talkative and super cherry mask was ripped off and,

My none smiling face came flashing.

But when you wanted to talk to me again, I started to be talkative, I always smile.

I came to notice that... you're my sanity.

I don't know, it's all so unknown.

I want to talk to you again...

You became my rock,

And you became my bomb,

A bomb who was ticking and just exploded when I was holding you.

You will be the death of me.

I love you, I told you,

It was intentional to send you those 4 words, 'GERWIN I LOVE YOU',

And it fucked me up, when it has gone down hill when you reponded with a... 'like' emoticon.

Like wtf? Could've just ignored it... but you had to likezoned my pathetic heart and soul,

After receiving that-I told you, 'I'm sorry I wasn't the one holding my phone a while ago...' ; 'I'm seriously sorry...'

I had to make an excuse so I won't fuck the fucked up relationship we have, if we still have that unknown and unlabelled relationship.

It's a one-sided love, but I'm still clinging onto it, still hoping you'll read this eventually, and maybe- just maybe after 10 fucking years you'll be holding me and I'll be holding you... I just wish.

But no, there are a lot of beautiful and amazing girls there at California, I don't stand a chance...

But I'm certain, that with ths distance we have...? Even when I'm already 24? Even when I found the one? Even when I'm married...? Know that I'll always love your stupid ass. Your snaarky remarks... your corny joke, your creepy smile, and you as you.

I know its stupid of me to fall for you at the young age of 14... but love is merciless, it will target you whenever and wherever. I do love you, I am not naive.

I might see you again from, a far, because California is a state where I often go, I might see you again and I can't wait for that time to come.

I might see you again with a beautiful girl holding your hands, looking at you with a love filled eyes, a girl you call your girlfriend.

And maybe you won't notice me or recognize me as I walk pass both of you, because she will be your world or maybe because you forgot that I do exist...

I hope your 10 years there would me memorable and amazing, just please live your life, forget about me if you must. I just want to see you happy there, see you this August... I might visit your school for a business related meeting with my mom.

Sincerely loving a man, GRM,
IPOBTINALLA.