His Promise Land

Journal [4]

Jace loved pancakes and hated, I mean hate birthday cakes, except the birthday cakes for me so I prepared pile of pancakes year after year.
My family all awed and clapped at the sight of me with his cake, they hollered and sang happy birthday at the top of their lungs. I let their cheeriness washed my worry away as I presented the pancakes before him.
Jace was smiling so wide and so bright I felt like I was looking at the sun. The candles didn't help either, they created this ethereal glow on his face, his eyes looked like their own stars and I was the planet that orbited this galaxy that was called Jace.
I smiled back at him, "Make a wish, Jace."
He leaned down and closed his eyes, a look of utter serenity across his face as he wished for whatever he was hoping for. Basked in candle light with his eyes closed, he looked older. He looked like he came back from the army and we have a happy ending and years later, we will still his birthday celebrate like this.
Jace opened his blue orbs and they landed on mine, he gave me another heart stopping grin and blew all the candles.
"Happy Birthday!" We all chanted together, happy for him. I smiled so wide I was scared I was going to split my face in two. Jace threw his arms around me, I almost let go of the pancake and let it crumble to the ground but someone, whoever it was, they were my savior, snatched it from my hand and put it somewhere else. I wound both of them around his neck immediately the moment they were free. He squeezed me in his arms and laughed in my ears.
"Best birthday ever." He whispered to my ear. "Thank you."
I giggled and he spun the both of us around, "It's my pleasure." I said truthfully.
We pulled back and laughed at each other, my family were all awing, just being so noisy it wasn't even funny. Here surrounded by my family in his arms, I felt like the happiest girl in the world.
My family is family but Jace is my life.

This was the first day in Jace's camping week in my house, I made a deal with my parents to let him stay over for the whole week before he went away but with one condition. We both slept in the living room, I was on the couch while Jace got the mattress from the basement out.
"So..." I stretched and snuggled deeper inside my comforter. It was freezing here in my living room.
"So..." Jace echoed. Stretching and putting his arm behind his head.
"Want to watch a movie?" He asked.
I just nodded and snuggled deeper to him. It was a large couch but I squished into him anyway, he turned on the TV and browsed through the channel. I could hear the sound of people talking and I knew what movie it was before I even saw it. I looked at him, as if saying 'seriously?'
"What? You like this movie!" He defended.
I rolled my eyes, "Come here. I'm freezing."
Jace's eyes changed into something different, the blue were vivider and it almost glowed in the dimly lit living room. "Aww, my princess is cold. Come here little princess." He said in his baby voice.
I rolled my eyes so hard I was afraid it will fall off and roll into the ground. I waited for him to scoot closer, because I was so bundled up I couldn't move. He rolled his eyes and did what I wanted. Jace unwrapped the covers from my body, folding me in his arms and under his chin before wrapping the both of us inside the covers again.
"I love this movie." I said quietly, Jace huffed proudly besides me. I just smiled because he knew me so well.
But the feel of Jace's soft sweater under the covers was all I could think of, he was everywhere around me, his scent, his touch. I dreaded the day where I couldn't have this anymore.
Being here was enough to drive me insane and completely sucked in all my attention.
"Huh- What?" I blinked.
He rolled his eyes, "The movie is almost over." He was running his fingers through my hair, going through the knots and sometimes twirling a lock between his finger.
"Yup. And I'm watching." I said confidently.
"Yeah right." He muttered.
"Hey!" I punched his arm playfully.
He playfully groaned, pretending to be hurt. "You pack a mean punch there barbie."
I gasped, "Did you just call me barbie?!" I shouted.
Then again, my mom scolded me. "No scolding at eleven pm at night!" She sounded pissed so I lowered my volume a bit, after I was finished rolling my eyes.
"Barbie?! Seriously?" I shouted/whispered.
"I was kidding." He rolled his eyes and snuggled into me. Wrapping all of his limbs around me.
And boy, was he succeeding. I could feel his warmth and the soft texture of his skin. I sighed in content, all of Barbie jokes were forgotten in an instant. Since when did my mind become a one track thought too?
"Wait. I wanted to take a picture." He suddenly stated.
I whined mentally, but I was so comfortable there! Like a chipmunk in a snuggly tree.
Jace rummaged through his things but cursed when his phone was on my room upstairs, on my bed. I just rolled my eyes and decided to take him out from his mental debate. "Here. Just use my phone."
He snatched the phone from my hand, sitting back down beside me and opening the camera app. He snuggled back with me and wrapped his arms around me again.
"Smile!" He said brightly.
To put it simply, we took literally thousands of selfie that night, ranging from cuddly, to stupid, to plain hilarious.
"Good night, Jace." I croaked. My eyes getting heavier by the moment.
"Night, Ash."
I had the most amazing sleep last night dreaming of unicorns and Jace in bright vivid colors of pinks and blues, like his eyes. The dream was so good that I woke up with the widest grin on my face.
Jace wasn't beside me when I wake up, figure he must have been in the kitchen already, he was a starving Godzilla in the morning.
True to my words, he was enjoying his chocolate chip breakfast pancakes. "Morning." He said, through a mouthful pancakes.
"Morning." I answered brightly.
My mom who was behind the counter, raised her eyebrow at me. Even my dad lowered his newspaper to raised his own eyebrow and stared at me. But Jace just held his laugh.
"If sleeping on the couch with Jace will make you this happy in the morning I should have allowed it eons ago." My mom muttered, my dad glared at her for that statement though.
I scooped my own plate of pancakes and dived into it. Man, Jace knew what's up. Jace and I raced through our breakfast like starved kids because we were competing for my shower, the fastest one who didn't leave a single crumb win and get my precious, precious hot shower.
The thing was, all the bathrooms in my house, the first to turn on the faucet wins all the water. So please don't mind my competitiveness.
Jace ended up winning the battle but he gave the shower to me in the end. It was always like this day after day. I knew he was just being the gentleman. Pfft, like you can be any more perfect.
Jace drove us to school, like everyday, nothing changed. Except today, when we arrived, people were shouting 'Happy Birthday' from every direction that I was starting to get a headache. But even then I had a smile plastered on my face widely, I was happy for him. A lot of people cared for him, even though they barely know him.
Jace smiled and waved, saying thank you to whoever said 'Happy Birthday' to him. They gave me a head nod when —if— they noticed me. If they didn't, I just drifted beside him like a bodyguard, glaring at anyone who took too long or too touchy feely.
You know, that one friend that was left behind when you chatted with someone else. Well, I was 'that' friend most of the time. It wasn't because Jace forget about me, no, it wasn't that. The thing was, he was always bombarded by this kind of treatment and he always, I mean, always, treated them back the same. All charming, nice, and polite.
I didn't mind because I'm the only one who knew the whiny five year old Jace.
We stopped at my locker, I took my books out as Jace leaned on the locker beside me. People just kept drifting by and taking all his attention. I could only wish I can negotiate with my mom to make her approve that I can have Jace to myself, locking him in my bedroom, hide hi, under a blanket fort away from the big bad world.
I blinked repeatedly and shook my head, muttering under my breath. I got my books out and closed the locker. But I wasn't fast enough because Miss Prim and Proper was already in front of Jace and chatting away with him merrily. I wished I could just bolt and do a flying Kung Fu kick to her face.
I couldn't stand her the most. Other girls seemed to get the meaning of my glare and stayed the hell away from Jace, except her. She lived to make my life hell.
My right eye twitched in annoyance as I stared at the girl. Like the nickname I gave her, she was so... tidy? Neat? Ms. Perfect? Ms. Smart? You get the picture, in short, she was perfect for Jace. Everything I wasn't. I tried to look away but only successful for five seconds.
But that wasn't the worst part. She was actually very nice, and kind. I wasn't joking when I said she was Ms. Perfect. If she was a bitch I would already went guns blazing and make her go away but she wasn't not. She was just... Dare I say... Perfect.
I huffed and crossed my arms as I leaned on my locker, sending Jace tons of mental email using my awesome mental power. But Jace apparently didn't receive the emails, or his mental signals were poor. But she noticed me, I was too late. I tried to look away but unsuccessfully.
"Hey, Ashley!" She said brightly, waving at me and grinning.
I always felt bad when I think of her in a bad way. She was so nice... while I'm here stewing in jealousy. Ugh. "Hey." I said lamely.
"You don't look so good, have a rough night?" She smiled at me, genuinely concerned.
But Jace answered for me, huh, he must have felt my bad mood. "Yeah, we had a blast last night. Ash and Mom- I mean Ash's mom, threw a party for me, it was awesome." He said, grinning. While I was happy he answered for me, what Sheryl did does not bring joy.
Sheryl just giggled, a hand touching Jace's forearm and asked, "What you get for him, Ashley?"
"A guitar pick." I snapped despite my resolution to try to play nice. I felt bad, I was so rude, but I couldn't help it, she was touching him while I looked and felt like the annoying third wheel. Alien please abduct me.
I glanced at Jace and he was scratching his neck awkwardly, swiftly pulling his arm from Sheryl, who was frowning because of my answer. "A guitar pick?" She asked Jace, like he owed her an explanation.
Jace smiled that gentle smile that was only reserved for me. "Yeah." He said simply and didn't elaborate further.
That look sent the jealousy and hatred in my dark, dark heart away. Exorcized by his angelic smile. I build up an immune system gradually from seeing his smile often but Shirley didn't, that was why when she saw it, she froze.
She blinked. Once. Twice.
And then said, "...Oh."
She smiled a little sadly after that and they continued to chat about her birthday party last year where someone pranked her and turn her hair green. It was just a fun topic and I found myself joining in occasionally. Despite that, every time Jace talked to me, she will stare at me like searching my face for answers. I didn't know what she wanted to see but she seemed to find it, she looked hurt.
Then with a pained smile, she bid Jace a good service, not safe but good at her wish of good luck, I found myself lacking. Jace going into the army was one topic that I stayed away from. I knew how much it meant to Jace, I knew going there made him happy, trying to prove himself, trying to chase his father. But at what cost?
I wanted him to be happy but not at the cost of his safety and yet— Shirley's wish for him prove that she knew him well enough to notice what he wanted. That he can find what's he looking for there, a good service. Albeit, perhaps, not a safe one but he'll be happy.
Maybe I need to meditate under a waterfall to get rid of this impure dark feelings. That can be arranged when Jace left, not like I'll have much going on without him.
Somehow, somewhat, my mouth decided to run off on its own. Maybe because hearing Shirley wished me good service that I think about it but I suspect the question had been burning in me long before this. I opened my mouth and the words just tumbled out.
"Do you like someone?"
Various expressions flashed across his face, so fast that I couldn't point it out. My heart felt like it dropped to my feet.