Samantha's POV
His words took me by surprise and I felt all the confidence I had gathered leave my body. And just like that, shock disappeared and anger took over. I gritted my teeth menancingly.
"Tell me, which part are you exactly sorry for? For beating my sister and I to pulp? Or is it refusing to pay for my medication until my sister gave in to become your own personal heroine trafficker? Or is it the part where you blamed me continuously for the death of your wife, my own mother until I actually believed it? Until even my own sister blamed me? Until the only blood I had hated and abandoned me...Which part! Tell me!" I could feel tears threatening to cascade but I would rather die than give that monster the pleasure of seeing them.
Everything came rushing back. Memories of being beaten up while I was sick, him accusing me of pretence. They were the most two painful years of my life that is after my mother died when we were ten from liver cirrhosis and blood intoxication. When my sister had defended me, she had received her fair share of beatings. On that night, that fateful night, he came home drunk saying something about a business deal gone wrong. He had proceeded to say everything was my fault and that I had killed his wife, that I was the monster. But my biological mother had gone into depression after my dad's death and started drinking, what's worse is that this man behind the glass gave her heroine. If anything, he killed her. She had feared leaving her children without a father, worst decision she had ever made. I remembered looking at Lindsay for her to tell me that what he was saying was a lie; she didn't say anything, simply turned her head away as my stepfather taunted me. His words hadn't been the ones that had driven me to take my life that night, it was the look on my sister's face.
I looked at him for an answer. I wanted to know what exactly he was sorry for. I saw his eyes turn glassy as he struggled to find the right words. He looked down for a bit then brought hiz gaze to me.
He actually looked genuinely sorry but I was a lawyer taught to be expressionless when need be.
But I sure as hell wasn't prepared for his answer as I thought I would be.
"No, Lin didn't hate you, she didn't even know you were alive after the attempt of taking your life" He said in a low trembling voice.
"What do you mean?" I asked feeling my breath hitch on my throat. He sighed as he looked around at all places but me, being a lawyer taught me to look for guilt signs, this was one of them.
"That n-night when I came home drunk and started blaming you for every misfortune and the death of your mother, the cops had been tipped of about the heroine operations under me. I was a wanted man. When I went outside to talk to James the forger, I came back and found both of you gone. I received a call from the hospital telling me you had overdosed. If they had record on me at the hospital, I was as good as caught. I couldn't risk it. So I went there and found Lin on the waiting room. I told her to come with me which she refused saying that she was the reason you wanted to kill yourself because she never said she didn't blame you, she had kept quiet as I taunted to you. I knew she wouldnt budge, so I...I took her by force using a methane induced cloth. After she woke up we were halfway towards Phili and I made a pal call me to say you were dead. She bought it. Your sister thought you died that night Sam and she blamed herself. She never hated you, ever. She became depressed, started bending towards heroine which was to my advantage. I used her as my dealer in schools she went to and well she got arrested, was sent to juvi since she was underage. She was just fifteen. I've never seen her since. So please Samantha if I could talk to your twin, I want to ask for forgiveness from both of you..."
The last words didn't register in my brain, I was too busy pondering over the others. She didn't hate me, she knew I was dead, she blamed herself, she had been to juvi? All these years she didn't know I was alive? She thought I died that night...All those times, all those times I had wanted to confront her but failed because I thought she hated me and was better off without me. Warm tears fell from eyes as I felt my body shake involuntary.
"Please Sam...I never wanted to hurt you kids, after your mother died...I lost it, I loved her. P-please I beg for your forgiveness, if only you could find Lin, maybe she is still in Philadelphia...she was in a juvenile penetentiary thirty minutes away from the town last I heard. Did you see her afterwards, did you look for her? I need to put my demons to sleep Samantha, they hardly let me sleep in this godforsaken place. Please get me Lin, I need to ask for her forgiveness..."
I heard the words come out of my mouth before I even processed them.
"She is dead. Her burial was yesterday. Tell that to your demons."
Having said this, I felt myself wake up, though my legs felt like they were made out of jelly. I heard him sob but didn't turn to see his tears.
I don't remember how I got past the front post, I vaguely heard the guard calling me back. He probably wanted me to sign out but I kept walking. My stepfather's words kept circling in my head. Why just why had I been so scared to face her? If I hadn't I would have gotten to know her, watch her grow into a fine young woman, maybe she'd even be alive...
I fumbled for my keys in my purse as I blinked my tears back. I kept swallowing the metallic taste that had formed at the back of my throat. I was so busy with my thoughts that I hardly noticed a black van stop behind me. When I finally acknowledged its presence, three masked men grabbed me roughly and placed me in their vehicle. I struggled to get free from their strong grip. Last thing I heard was an engine start before being hit on the back of my head by a blunt object. I drifted out of consciousness as the world around me turned pitch black.
