if i could tell her - evan hansen x reader

New Beginnings

Warning: mentions of blood, bones, super long chapter, and crappy writing 

Reader's POV

We just finished packing. The house is completely stripped of any signs of life that may have been there. The broken drawer in the kitchen? Good as new. The dent in the wall from launching my phone across the room? As if it never even happened. That one wood plank in the living room that distracted everyone from the movie... Is still the same.

My parents thought it'd be best to welcome the new house owners with a house that might as well be newly built. I mean, yeah, maybe, but its not like we have all the money in the world. The new house cost $700,000, and gas money from driving through 3 large states? At least $90. We couldn't afford it, at all. But, my parents are people pleasers, and those genes were passed down to me. I only have another 5 minutes before legally, we wouldn't be allowed in here without permission.

I've never moved houses before, I've never had to get to know another area, another neighborhood, or another group of bullies, as sad as it sounds. I've never really had friends before. I've always been known as the girl with anxiety and a dead brother. Not a great conversation starter, is it? I'm glad that I'm getting another shot. I know its not gonna go very differently, though. Everyone has their friends, and their groups, and I'll be the outsider, the one that doesn't belong. I've accepted that. I know I shouldn't, because change can happen! Maybe, but not with me. My anxiety keeps me trapped in a box I can never get out of. Call me cliche, but that's a somewhat accurate description.

"(Y/N)! Hurry up, we need to get a move on!" My mom calls from the front door. "Oh, sorry! I'm coming!" I respond, then run down the stairs, tripping on the last one. I pull my shoes on as fast as I could and bolt to he car, now slightly eager to get to the new house. I said one last goodbye, and hopped in the U-Haul truck. "Sorry that we had to rush you, sweetheart. The new house is in a lovely neighbourhood, that's extremely well taken care of, as oppose to this rundown place." My dad looks into the rear-view mirror and smiles at me. I simply nod, and grin in response.

The drive was long, and we stopped at several motels on the way. Every three hours the driver would switch. However, a solid 15 hours later, we finally arrived at the new house, which looked more like a mansion. It looked huge from the outside, I just hoped I wouldn't get lost on the inside the first few days there. After getting the 'OK' from Mom and Dad, I was let out of the car to explore the house.

I was right, the inside of the mansion was even bigger than the outside. There were 4 bedrooms, a very deluxe looking kitchen, two dining rooms, paired wth two living rooms, a few washrooms, and a huge basement. Not only that, but there was also a pool in the backyard, that I would definitely use very often.

I quickly found out that there was a forest right by a pond and a hiking trail, with trees at least 50 feet tall. I decided I wanted to explore the trails, and maybe climb one of the trees.

"Hey, mom? C-could I go walk along the hiking trails? Y'know, s-see what there is to see?" I nervously asked Mom, but not entirely sure why I was nervous.

"Of course, don't get lost though. Make sure you keep your phone on you. I love you, stay safe."

Then I was on my way. I jogged across the street and started walking along the dead leaves, getting a sense of relaxation from it. After walking for about five minutes, I was quite far into the forest, suddenly not being able to see anything but trees. I decided to make use of my current situation, and started climbing one of the trees. It seemed to be one of the tallest in the area.