Status: On-Screen

11. Social Media Wars

Zara Costanza

Marvel and Sony arranged this house for Tom to stay in while filming and in all honesty, it was one of my favourite parts about filming. This was where so much bonding has occurred. Plus, Tom was extremely welcoming and actually encouraged us to stay in the guest room if we had to get up early to shoot the next day. It was really convenient since it was close to the studio, and so, that was what I had planned to do for the night since I had a 6 am shoot with Tom and Jacob the next morning. 

The night before, Zendaya, Laura, Tony, Harrison, Jacob, Tom, and I had planned an early games night. To be honest, I wasn't entirely looking forward to it after I had such a long day. It rarely occurs, but sometimes, I get these triggering worry thoughts that cause anxiety attacks, causing me to lose focus in whatever task I'm doing. And today, I had to cope with them while being on set in front of several people. 

Coping with anxiety is difficult. I'm someone who definitely overthinks and it's always been really hard for me to get in control when I have these waves of anxiety. It took a lot of energy for me to calm myself down internally and focus on work. 

Ever since the news of this morning, I wanted to be alone to truly recognize and understand my decision. However, after what happened today, maybe having a games night with my friends would be good for me.

Ultimately, we decided to play some Mario Kart. Among the 7 of us, we were passing along the remotes after each new round. So far, Harrison was winning the most games followed by Tony, Zendaya, Tom, and then Jacob. Laura and I were losing and were practically out of the competition, but still played for fun.

Normally, I'm a pretty competitive person when it comes to Mario Kart, but I didn't have the energy in me to be it. After that talk with Gina, I felt like my response was definitive. I know that when it comes down to it, I'm going to decline Disney. It's an amazing opportunity, but regardless of what they say, I don't think I'm the right fit. 

However, internally, I felt this itching feeling of guilt. It just didn't feel right.  I know that it's a massive opportunity, and a once-in-a-lifetime thing, but what if I'm just not ready?

Any normal actor would've accepted the role. As a child, I loved Disney. I watched the movies and read the fairytales. But I just didn't feel ready to be a Disney princess.

For the past hour that I've spent with my friends, I feel like I've mainly kept to myself, and I'm glad that no one has commented on it. 

I took a seat beside Zendaya as we sat out for this round of Mario Kart. Weirdly, I could see her tapping away at her phone. In fact, she was smirking the entire time. I watched her and wondered who she could be texting. 

"Zar, check your phone," she said, in a mischievous tone. 

I picked up my phone and casually scrolled through Instagram. I saw a few posts of edits and pictures that fans created. It seemed normal. A few posts from people who I followed and a couple of fan pages. I had gained followers, were tagged in photos, and comments were continuously popping up.

As I refreshed the page, the number of tags and comments had increased by a lot. I decided to check out what had caused the major increase.

I scrolled through Twitter and found a tremendous amount of retweets and tags. Then I saw Zendaya's tweet.

Twitter

zendaya ✅: I get that you guys love #tomdaya but can we please take a moment and appreciate #colland ?  🤪I love their friendship zaracostanza TomHolland1996 😏