Let's Be Alone Together

Chapter 12

He really doesn't care for Paris. It's a shame, because it's pretty, but there's too many tourists, and everything is loud, and crowded, and they've been standing in line for an hour to get into the Louvre. And it's raining. Liam knows that back home the weather won't be all that much better, but, he did get away to, y'know. Escape. Not necessarily the weather, but still.

Zayn's quiet beside him, leaning against him because he's still sleepy and Liam almost envies him his ability to fall asleep anywhere, because he's pretty sure Zayn's two minutes from taking a kip on his shoulder. He's pretty sure they haven't moved in ten minutes, and his legs are starting to ache a bit, but he doesn't want to switch his weight from one foot to the other because Zayn might take that as a sign to move away.

It's not that he's not bothered, it's just, he doesn't mind it.

All the same, he's relieved when they get to move up a bit in the queue, and Zayn cheers quietly as they shuffle forward a few steps. "This is going to take forever," he sighs softly, and Liam nods, acknowledges his statement with a sigh that has Zayn shifting to look at him, frowning. "We could-" he starts, and Liam stops him.

"Nah," he smiles at him. "You wanted to visit. So."

Zayn just watches him for a moment. "Yeah, but-" he starts, cuts himself off this time. He bites his lip, then smiles. "Alright. Ticket's on me though."

Liam smiles back at him. If we ever get inside, he thinks, but doesn't say it. Judging by the way the side of Zayn's mouth curls up into a smile, he doesn't have to.

About an hour or so later (probably not a full hour, but it certainly feels that way) they finally get inside, and while Liam's never been a huge fan of museums (musea?) and art in general, he can't help but be charmed. It's probably more to do with the fact that Zayn's bouncing on his feet though, glancing around like he can't figure out where to go first.

They end up following a tour guide, for about half the tour, and then Zayn sneaks his hand in Liam's and drags him off to another room. It's not necessarily quieter there than with the group, but it's nice, getting the chance to look at the paintings. That is, when someone isn't elbowing him out of the way to get a better look. He ends up looking more at Zayn than at the actual art framed on the walls, but that's ok. He doesn't appreciate it the way Zayn does anyway, but the way he can see him light up, watches him be enraptured by a particularly nice piece (or so Liam assumes), he can kind of see the beauty of the paintings through him.

His feet are killing him when they finally get back outside, and it's nice to breathe fresh air, rather than the stuffy recycled air inside the museum. Zayn must think so too, because he doesn't even light a cigarette, just breathes in and beams at Liam, says his name so fondly that Liam wonders what he did. It must show on his face, because Zayn gives him another of those crinkly eyed smiles. "Thanks," he says softly. "For coming with."

He thinks there's not a lot of places he won't follow him, if it makes Zayn look like that.

They eat overpriced food at a restaurant with a snobby waiter, trying to figure out where to go tomorrow when Zayn looks at him, contemplating. "You're not a big city kind of guy, are you?" he asks, and Liam takes a moment to think about that.

"I'm not sure what kind of guy I am," he says earnestly, and smiles, like that isn't the root of all of his problems. "Why?"

Zayn shrugs. "We did what I wanted today, even if it wasn't your kinda thing. I figured - you followed me to Paris because that's where I was headed," (Liam thinks he doesn't really like how that's phrased, even if Zayn's smile is mild, and even a little fond), "but I don't want to be selfish, yeah? So. We could, y'know. Leave?"

Somehow, that's a novel concept. Leaving. When in reality, that's all he's done in the past two weeks. Honestly though, if it weren't for Zayn, Liam's not sure where he'd be. He might have gone back home. He might still be in Amsterdam. He knows he'd be more in his head than he is now, that's for sure. And he'd plan. For as much as this trip had been about breaking free, he feels infinitely more at ease when he's got a schedule to follow. Even if it is an arbitrary plan, he likes knowing where he's going to wake up tomorrow, what he's going to do. Zayn humors him in it, but Liam knows that he is happy to just grab his bag and see where the day takes him. He wonders sometimes if he's holding him back. Wonders if that's why he was so adamant on going with him to the Louvre, even when he knows Zayn wouldn't have minded if he had told him to go in on his own. He wants to show Zayn that he - he's not sure. But he can't forget the curve of his mouth that first day in the car rental. Live a little still taunts him sometimes, though in a sense he's grateful for it.

"Do you want to?" he asks him, after a moment's pause. Zayn smiles.

"Do you?" he parrots, and Liam can't resist making a face at him. "I mean it," Zayn says mildly, "I don't want to be selfish."

"You're not," Liam assures him, and the same words are on his tongue, but Zayn shakes his head.

"You're not either, Li," he says fondly, and Liam smiles.

"Alright," he says, after a moment's deliberation. "Let's leave, yeah. That sounds good. I mean. Paris is-" it's the city where Danielle said she wanted Liam to propose to her. Under the Eiffel tower. It's romantic, and she had had it all planned out, and he just feels funny, being here. He's not with the person he expected to be with, and he's not the person he expected to be. He's not sure that's bad, really, but still. Paris is like a t-shirt in winter. It fits, but it isn't enough. It doesn't feel complete.

He wonders if it'll ever feel complete. Without her. If he's forever going to feel out of place. But Zayn smiles at him, nods like Liam put all his thoughts into words, and Liam pauses. He doesn't feel so out of place with Zayn.

And frankly, that terrifies him.