BTS JIMIN Oneshots 《COMPILATION》✓

I Will Never be Her

He is everything to you.

He is all your reasons why.

He is the first thing you want to see in the morning and the last thing you want to see in the night.

He is everything you need
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⠀⠀⠀but, you're not everything he need.
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You are an orphan. You were raised up in an orphanage, and no. Not like some other stories people might tell, your childhood is the first thing you want to forget the most.

If you never meet him,
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⠀If that day he never bump to you,
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⠀⠀If he never looks you in the eyes
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and smile at you...
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You know you wouldn't make it until today.
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3 years.
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3 years was enough.
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3 years should be enough for him to aware that your love for him is more than just a friend.
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You were sure that he know exactly what you feel, but if he did, why he keep on hurting you?
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He always said he care for you,
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⠀⠀but why you feel he never did?
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Of course, it was so obvious that he never care for you. You just don't want to admit it. You were SCARE to admit it.
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Why were you so sure that he never care about you?
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Because right now, he was there, in front of your eyes staring at her lovingly. A girl he really care for. He never look at you the way he looking at her.

He never and never will.

She's everything he could ask for.

You knew it, because he told you himself.
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“Minjoo-ah, I think I really like her. What am I supposed to do?” He told you as his eyes disappear into his adorable eyesmile, showing how happy he is.

Those words that he said with glimpse of happiness was like poisoned arrow stab on your heart and killing you slowly.

With bleeding heart, you draw a smile for him on your lips, “Then tell her, Jimin oppa! She's so lucky because you like her!” that was all you can said.

The moment he shifted his eyes back on her, you bite your lower lips to prevent your tears from falling.

It's hurting you.

He's hurting you, but you can't do anything to stop him.

Because you love him.

You love him too much that you wouldn't mind if it hurt yourself.

Just like what you were doing now, all alone watching him watching her.

She's so lucky.
How you wish you could be her.
But you will never be her.

You remember when you asked him about why he like her so much.
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“She's adorable! Look, the way she play with those kids. Girl that loving kids are my weakness.” Jimin replies you which makes your heart sank deeper.

No matter how hard you try, you just will never be her, why? Because you can't play around with kids, you dislike kids, no. You SCARE of them.

There was a time when Jimin asked you to accompany him to be a volunteer in an orphanage. Just because that girl is a volunteer there.

It's a bad idea, you know it. You will mess it up, first you need to see Jimin with that girl, second you will scare away those kids, or they will scare you away. But, your love for Jimin is bigger, so you decided to challenge yourself.

Once you were there, as expected Jimin will just stay with you until that girl notice him and calling him. The moment she called him, he left you all alone.

Not long after that, a group of kids come and approach you.
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“Noona~~! Come and play with us!”
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“Why you sit here alone? Come with us!!”
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“Come on Noona!” They plead and start pulling your hands.
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“N-no... j-just play alone.” you muttered, still try to control yourself.

But they keep pleading and pulling you from your bench and suddenly all of their faces become those kid's faces who bullied you on your childhood.

You become panic and scare, it feels like that old scary memories, those flashback attacking you and you become shaking and scare.
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“NO!! I SAID NO!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!” you cried and shout at the same time, then
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Now gone your old childhood scene and it replace by the silence where all those kids staring at you and start crying. In a flash, you saw ‘her’ running towards the kids and calm them down.
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“What you think you're doing, Minjoo?!? If you don't want to be here, just leave! They're just kids, why you scare them like that??” Jimin come to you with unpleasant face.

You were all pale and still shaking, heart breaking at the same time, knowing Jimin must be very disappointed at you.

He then come to her and help her calm the kids down, without caring what is exactly happened to you. Of course, he didn't know and never want to know.

That's why you know, you will never be her. You will never be that girl who motherly loving kids, you will never be the girl that Jimin like.
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“What's wrong with that? Why you did that?” Jimin asked once he walk you home. “Minjoo, aren't you listening?” He increase his voice and stop on his track, hold your wrist to stop you from walking silently with head hung down.
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“All alone I watch you watch her.” you whisper slowly. “Like she's the only girl you've ever seen.” you look up to him, watching him furrow his eyebrow, still don't understand what are you saying.
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“You don't care you never did. You don't give a damn about me. How is it you never notice that you are slowly killing me?” You brush his back smooth hair slowly and draw a bitter smile like those words were nothing to you.
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“Minjoo... I-”
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“I can see the end of this, the end of us but I think it's time to let you know. Now all this time is passing by but I still can't seem to tell you why it hurts me every time I see you. Realize how much I need you, but I can't have you.” you chuckles and pull back your hands before you lose control.
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He still looks so lost, so you continue, it might be the last time for you to see him, the last chance, to tell him everything you keep inside.
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀“I hate you, I love you.” you whisper slowly but sure as you watch his every moves. He widened his eyes, and his little kissable lips parting as he gasping.
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“I hate that I love you. I don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you. I hate that I want you. You want her, you need her and I'll never be her.”

Theme Song: I Hate U, I Love U by Gnash ft. Olivia Obrien