Luke

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Day one.

I tackled my eyes open, the bright light immediately forcing them closed again.

"Where am I?!" I asked, my head was beating fast, along with a machine that was rapidly pounding besides me.

My fingers were stiff and cold, and my blood felt thick. Goosebumps scattered up and down my pale arms, like the snowy mountains. The bitter air traveled down my spine.

"You're in the hospital, Luke." I recognised the calming voice from anywhere, Megan.

Megan was the first person I met at the foster home. Ever since she's been my carer, until I'm old enough to leave, of course. I see her like a mother but I know it just her job- Megan helps me with my issues;anger management and depression, shes assigned me to many courses but none of them really work as much as boxing does.

At the Forster home I see her three times a week. I used to visit her nearly everyday, but I prefer it now, it gives me an independence in helping myself out.

I didn't have a lot of trust for people, and I didn't want that to change.

"You'll be fine, the doctor's spoken to me and I've got all the information you'll need, do you remember anything?" She continued.

Her voice was weakened when she finished the sentence.

I nodded.

I lied, I didn't remember much, my chest burned and the needles that were stuck in my hands were irritating me, I couldn't think straight knowing I had metal in my flesh. I had to force myself not to look at them and try to focus my thoughts on what Megan was saying.

"You had a bad accident last night, you were lucky, extremely lucky!" She stopped to hold my hand, her gentle touch stroked circles onto my palm.

"Ashton's gone to get your car, I hope that's okay?" She stopped.

My eyes weakened and the beating of the machine started to increase, I gripped the bed sheets as my veins screamed out of my neck.

Darkness.

This happened regularly. I'd just breakdown, get angry, frustrated. My mind would go into shutdown and I wouldn't wake up for two or more hours, when I did there would be countless people;doctors, carer's staring down at me. It used to be frightening, but now it was natural, less people cared about me and I liked it that way. I liked the independence I had.

I liked being alone.

When I awoke the light was dimmed, and I could see my surroundings.

"Why am I here?" I though.

The beds around me were mostly empty and the air was thin, no one said a word;except the occasional crowd of families rushing past.

I pushed myself up, the tubes following behind me. I reached my heavy arms up to grab the side of the machines, my feet creeped onto the dusty floor. The walls looked dull, above the desk that was centred in front of the bed had one board full with children's drawings, all of them had stereotypical smiles that hung on their uneven faces. The floor was as blue as the walls, old and cracked in places.

I couldn't say I've never been here before, with several attempts of suicide I never seemed to succeed, but that makes me want it more, it was my mind playing tricks on me making the whole death game a challenge, but I never seem to complete them.

On the odd days I'd sit listening to my mix tapes and drive around in my car, I'd ask myself why I haven't been able to yet? My near death experiences have shocked even myself and eventually I forget, but every time I step onto the same cold concrete floor I wonder what's the point? People need the help more than I do.

I'm such a selfish person.

My eyes searched the bedside table for my paperwork.

Name: Hemmings, Luke
Age:17
Accident:Attempted suicide
Damage: Pulmonary Edema- caused by high blood pressure

My eyes scanned the paper 'Pulmonary Edema'. The words shook me, I frowned. I still couldn't remember anything, all I can seem to remember was my fingers feeling numb and my hands slipping from something, then my mind went blank.

I pulled the sheet of paper to look on the back when a small necklace fell beneath the pages. I stopped my actions. The shimmering shape stared at me. Then I remembered.

Katie.

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