「look at the stars」 | Johnnyboy

O n e .

Angela was the youngest Shepard sibling, and the most good looking in some point of views. She connected her hand with Ponyboy's, a large grin forming on her lips as he read the school newspaper in his grip aloud. He used expression, tone, exaggeration. She loved every second of it.

After finishing the column, he placed it on the table in front of them and turned his green-gray eyes to meet her sharp ones. "I can't believe you just listened to me read all of that."

"Of course I did." She shrugged slowly. "I love hearing your voice." He offered her a sideways smile, giving her hand the slightest squeeze. Something about the way her hands felt when intertwined with his felt... wrong, as if they didn't fit right. He couldn't explain it, but something was off. It was probably just him being silly, though. Afterall, he'd never had a relationship before.

It would hurt her if he admitted how conflicted he felt about being with her, and that was something neither of them needed. She was a lovely girl, but she wasn't who he had his eye on and he'd known that for a while now. Just as these thoughts crossed his mind for about the millionth time that week, Johnny walked into the cafeteria. He sat in front of them with a friendly smile.

"You're not gonna eat today?" Ponyboy asked suddenly, noticing how the boy didn't have a tray of food. His friend shrugged in response, shaking his head and looking toward the kitchen of the school.

"The cafeteria food here is horrible, and they're having those artificial chicken nuggets." He nearly shuddered. Angela nodded quickly in agreement with his words, hand still clasped to the brunet boy's at her side. She didn't like school food either. Pony shrugged at both of them, a grin crossing his features as he picked up his spork and shoved a pile of unsalted mashed potatoes into his mouth.

"You two are insane! I don't mind it at all."

"That's because you'll eat anything," Angela teased, nudging her boyfriend gently with a laugh. He rolled his eyes jokingly, taking another bite from the food on his tray. He honestly saw no problem in it; it was their loss.

He then picked up his unopened yogurt and slid it over to the male in front of him. "At least eat this, you'll be too hungry to focus later if you don't get something in your stomach."

The whisper of a smile played on his lips. His deep brown orbs shown with introversion as they flickered up to meet the paler brunet's achromatic ones. He secretly hoped his cheeks weren't noticeably pink, though he didn't really know why they would be. "Y-you don't have to give me that, Pony. Eat it if you want, it's yours."

"Nope, I want you to have it." He continued to hold out the yogurt, waiting patiently for him to take it. When he did, Ponyboy colorfully acknowledged how their hands brushed along one another. It almost sent tingles through him, though he was unsure if his companion felt it as well. He sure as hell wasn't going to ask, especially in front of Angela.

Johnny would've let his fingers linger, the warmth of his friend's touch more comforting than he'd like to admit, though when the other boy pulled back, he found himself self-consciously tugging the yogurt closer to him. Ponyboy cleared his throat, ignoring the fluttery feeling the contact had given him. "I'll go get you a spoon." Before any protests could be made by Angela or Johnny, he was sliding his hand out of his girlfriend's and standing up to make his way to the utensils. They all clashed together as he tried to grab one. He cringed inwardly, thinking that he should've just gone for the plastic sporks. He didn't mind people, not at all -- though it was a completely different story when all of their eyes were on you. That was one of the biggest things he feared when thinking of expressing his emotions toward his friend.

☪ ☪ ☪

After the bell signaling the end of lunch screeched out, the three of them began to go their separate ways. Angela's lips met Ponyboy's in a faint goodbye kiss, a smile crossing her features once more as she pulled away. He flashed her one in return, his greenish-gray hues falling over Johnny once she'd left them.

He tried not to, he really did, but as the boy walked away he couldn't help but watch after him. He was so breathtaking, yet so unaware.

Unlike Angela, who had confidence and family love, Johnny didn't see himself in any special light. And, as far as he knew, he had no reason to do so. His home life sucked -- something Ponyboy had picked up from the first time they'd met just three years before. He wished more than anything that he could just wrap him up; kiss his face, run his hands through his hair, tell him that everything was going to be okay -- that he was perfect, and didn't need to change a single thing about himself. Instead, he did nothing.

In fact, he did less than nothing; he covered everything up with smooth yet otherwise lame excuses, never hinting that he wanted something more than friendship. He didn't need Johnny thinking he was some kind of freak. Gay may have been worldwide by now, but that didn't change the negative views on it. Shaking the thoughts from his mind, he whirled around and began making his way to his next class. It was going to be a long day.