「look at the stars」 | Johnnyboy

F o u r t e e n .

"I'm sorry to interrupt," a woman intercepted, just as Johnny had opened his mouth to respond to something Angela asked. He hadn't been talking a whole lot, for reasons that were both complicated and obvious, but now everyone else fell into a quiet streak as well. They eyed the woman expectantly. "I've been told to speak to the Shepard family alone, but it'll only take a moment. I don't want to hold up anyone's visit." She smiled kindly, looking around at all of them. Ponyboy, Johnny, and Darry all nodded and got to their feet. Whispering quick goodbyes, they exited the room.

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"Hey, you guys want something from the vending machines?" The eldest of them all started to dig in his pockets, fishing out his wallet and taking out a few dollar bills before handing them to both of the boys.

"Thanks, Darry." Ponyboy palmed the money carefully, turning his head to look at his brother as they started walking. Johnny held his hand to make sure he didn't fall; he was their "eyes" when the other wasn't paying attention to where he was going. "You want anything?"

"I'm good with a bottle of water." They nodded in response, turning down a slick hall and spotting the small section filled with vending machines shortly afterwards.

"Whatcha want, Johnny?" The raven haired boy bit his lip, eyes scanning the contents of the snack machine.

"I'll just have a coke." He was uncomfortable being at the hospital; more so than he'd like to admit. But, at the same time, it felt necessary. If things were really going South with her health, he wanted to at least spend some time with her. They'd all been good friends once, afterall.

"You want some chips too? I'm not hungry enough to eat a whole bag by myself."

"Sure," he flashed the brunet a soft smile, nodding. They took the drinks and bag of nacho cheese flavored Bugles back to the waiting room, where Darry sat patiently. Ponyboy's nerves seemed to jump slightly at the familiar cool sting of the chair against his jeans. He remembered the first time he'd sat here, waiting on news about Angela. It felt similar now, and that scared him. Though, this time he had Johnny, which made things a lot better than before.

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"You tired, Johnnycakes?" The younger boy shifted a bit to meet the deep brownish-black hues of his lover, a smile hinting at his lips. Johnny's bangs had flown messily over his forehead, covering his eyebrows almost completely.

"No," he responded sleepily, shaking his head. He was more than tired, but he felt selfish admitting that. They'd been waiting for about thirty minutes. The suspense had to be killing Ponyboy, and falling asleep while he was in that state just felt like a terrible thing to do.

"C'mon..." His boyfriend mumbled slowly, draping an arm over his shoulders and pulling him closer. His frame was a lot more petite than his own, so it was easier to wrap him up. Johnny reluctantly buried the side of his face into his shirt, murmuring something inaudible. "Hm?" Ponyboy pressed a kiss to his hair absent-mindedly, fingers trailing along his arm comfortingly. Johnny's face instantly heated up, and if he hadn't been burying it in his boyfriend's shirt, it would've been more than visible.

"I-I s-said I love you," the words were only a little louder than his previous, but they were clearer now. The fourteen year old's heartbeat sped up dramatically, breath hitching in his throat. He'd never said it back. Johnny had never, not once, said it back. Throughout all of the kisses, all of the cuddling, all of the desperate, well-needed hugs, all of the consistent reminders of how much he meant to him, all of the longing glances, all of the long nights spent losing sleep and talking endlessly - he'd never said those three words to him.

"You do?" They were talking amongst themselves, their peers oblivious to whatever was going on between them. It was probably obvious that they were more than friends, but at this point that was only a mild concern. No one would say anything with Darry around, anyway. He nodded in response, hand reaching to gently catch hold of a handful of his shirt. It was his attempt at pulling him closer, the frigid air around them finally hitting. "You've-you've never said that to me before, Johnny..." This time, he moved to look up at the boy he was laying on.

"I know." He paused, looking away again. "I-it's not easy f-f-for me to sa-ay..." They were silent a moment, letting the three words wash over them. Ponyboy could recall the night he'd said them to him, but now that night didn't even compare to this one. He loved him. Out of all of the moments he could've said it, this was one of the best and, for a moment, it took his mind entirely off of the reason they were here to begin with.

"I'm happy you love me." Ponyboy pushed the hair from his boyfriend's forehead, eyes scanning over his facial expression with a fond glimmer in them. "I love you, too, but you know this." He cracked the slightest grin, in which Johnny returned almost immediately.

"It don't hurt to hear it."

Before he could respond, Darry suddenly stood from his seat. Both boys turned to look in the same direction as him, just in time to see the doctor leaving Angela's hospital room. They all shared a cautious look before making their way back, expectantly locking gazes with the Shepard siblings. "What'd she say?" Darry inquired. He was using the same tone he did when Ponyboy or Sodapop was sick; parental, but caring. Angela looked toward the window on the other side of the room immediately, eyes shining as if she were about to cry. Johnny gave Pony's hand a squeeze; his attempt at moral support, perhaps, though his own heart was racing as well.

"They're taking Angie in for surgery tomorrow-"

"But there's a high chance she could die while they're doin' it," Tim finished, face twisted with an emotion none of them had ever seen him wear. He didn't wait for anyone to respond, just stood from his chair and exited the room. The new information left them all with just one question.

What the hell was happening?