Odd Ball

The Pool, The Pool, The Pool is on Fire.

"Mint! Come get her NOW! She set my goddamn pool on fire! How IN THE FUCK do you set water on fire! We had to put it out OURSELVES. You know how much work we got in this house, we'd be under the jail house. What? No! I don't know how she set it on fire! Blue! How did you set the pool on fire?" The boss man, now in a slick, banana peel yellow suit, asked me as he held the phone away from his ear.

" I took all the running alcohol and all y'all drinkable alcohol and poured it in." I said quietly because I knew I would be getting scolded.

"What in the- man! Why? Just why. Where did you get that dumbass idea from." He asked me with his eyes squinted into a harsh glare.

I shrugged my shoulders, and he went back to talking on the phone.

"I don't care! She giving me grey hairs, making me feel old...... Shut the hell up 'cause I'm young and sexy. But come pick her up now. If I never see her again it'll be too soon."

Damn. I'm still here. Talk shit get hit. School bus built ass.

Okay. Let me explain. Yes, I did set the pool on fire, BUT, hear me out, I did it to prove a point.

He said water couldn't burn, so I showed him.

That's still not the worse thing I've done.

I'd say the worst thing I've done would be stealing a white persons dog, then waiting for them to put up reward money cause a nigga was tired of struggling.

I DID give them back their dog In case you were wondering.

Then stole it right back because I fell in love with him. And that's the story of how I got Metamorphoses, my overweight, pit bull, mastiff mix who needs to be fed every 27 minutes.

Oh Jesus! I hope someone is feeding him! He'll die of starvation if he isn't fed at least 5 times a day.

He's eating better than me.

Wait. How did I get from a burning pool to my dog? I blame you.

Anyways, I'm seated on one of the couches waiting for this 'Mint' person to get here, I'm bored.

There's no one to talk to and nothing to do. Maybe if I just roamed around for 5 minutes...........