Odd Ball

Gucci Shades

Me and Mint stood outside of the county jail waiting for Domo pizza box built ass to be released.

"Took you long enough nigga." Domo said walking up and giving Mint dap.

"Somebody spent all my money so I had to free my inner slave to get the shits back." Mint outted me.

Bitch.

Domo looked over at me and scowled. "If we weren't outside of a police station I would murder you."

"I hope you drop the soap hoe." I said and stuck out my tongue at him. He lunged for me but Mint grabbed him.

"Nah. You'd probably do it on purpose. I can tell you got some sugar in yo' tank." I said laughing as Domo struggled harder to attack me.

Awe. We're having a nigga moment.

*Sheds happy tear*

Mint finally got Domo long head ass to calm down. We made our way to Mints car where I was physically restrained and put in the backseat all while screaming "RAPE!".

This police station has the literal worst customer service.

I was sitting in the backseat grumbling about how much of a bitch Domo was, when I heard a 'ping'. I looked around for the cell phone it came from, then suddenly I heard another one. I was checking under the seats when the back window shattered.

I lifted my head up and looked out of the not-there-anymore back windshield.

"Yo! What the hell was that?!" Mint squealed.

Yes nigga, squealed.

"Umm..... Don't panic but we may or may not be getting chased and shot it." I told him. Domo whipped his head around and let out a string of curses any sailor would be proud of.

The shooter was leaning out of the passenger side of one of those Kia box cars.

This a serious situation, but let's take a moment to digest that key piece of information. These niggas, probably gang niggas, are chasing a 1987 Buick piece of shit, in a lime green cube car. What is the world coming to.

The shooter had on a yellow bandanna over the lower half of his face while wearing some Gucci shades.

I can deadass see the label symbol from here. Them hoes look real too.

"It's the Latin Kings, why they shootin' at us? We got an alliance!" Domo said while searching through Mints glove box.

I felt the wind from one of the bullets wiz past my face, and saw it imbed itself in the back of Domo's headrest.

Goddamn these thick ass seats! It could have went a little further.

"Why isn't there any sound?" I asked, still staring head on at the shooter.

"Probably got a silencer. WOULD YOU GET YO' DUMBASS DOWN! YOU GON' GET HIT." Mint screamed at me while maneuvering through the oblivious cars on the road.

"Stay up." Domo said. I whipped around to glare at him.

Bitch.

He finally pulled out a gun from the glove compartment with his slow ass. He loaded it with speed and turned around and pointed it at my face, with his finger on the trigger.

I let out an "EEK" and ducked down just in time for him to pull the trigger.

"BITCH YOU COULDA SHOT ME! OH JESUS MY EARS! I CAN'T HEAR NOTHING! AM I DEAD? I'M DEAD AIN'T I! OH LORD SHE WAS TOO YOUNG! WHY'D SHE HAVE TO GO!" I screamed dramatically.

I'm never going to see Metamorphosis again, my poor obese baby.

A big hand slapped the back of my head as I continued screaming and singing negro spirituals.

I opened my eyes questionably and saw Domo looking at me like I was crazy. I lifted up and saw that the car that was shooting at us stopped.

"WAIT! WAIT! Please turn around! Go back, go back!" I pleaded with Mint.

He sighed and put the car in reverse, going back to the car.

When we reached it, I hopped out with my shirt over my face to make myself less recognizable in case there were any prying eyes, and ran up to the other vehicle, I saw the driver and the shooter both had multiple gun shot wounds to their bodies.

I reached into the passenger side window and plucked the Gucci shades off the shooters face.

Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang, Gucci gang.

"Thank you!" I smiled at the man gasping for breath, though he couldn't see it because of my shirt, and ran back to the car.

I hopped back in the small broken down trap and we took off toward Domo and Mint's house.

"Really nigga? You went back for some shades?" Domo asked glaring at me.

"Yes. Yes I did." I said dramatically while putting the shades on my face like Haratio Cane from CSI: Miami.

Greatest show ever.

When we pulled up to the house, my mouth dropped.

Where the gigantic mansion once stood, there were gigantic flames with firefighters trying to battle it.

Domo and Mint both turned toward me with malice in their eyes. I let out a nervous chuckle.