LITTLE HEART ↳ JON SNOW

two

DEAREST CATALINA,

My heart breaks as I write this, knowing I have hurt you and now being unable to do anything about it. Believing you are not good enough is almost as if you are believing that the sun doesn't shine, that the grass doesn't grow and that the snow doesn't fall. You are and always will be beyond enough.

Unfortunately it is I that falls short. The walls around my heart gave me the inability to love you the way that you needed me to, and I will never forgive myself for the pain that I have now caused you.

In all honesty, I say now in front of  only you, myself, and the gods, I miss you with more in me than I have ever missed any one person. My soul feels empty and tainted without your touch and presence, and the air I breathe is simply for life and not for living anymore. I breathe with the hope that one day I shall see you again.

But I do not regret what I've done for myself, or at least at the moment I don't. I have hardly reached the castle, but I am filled with dread and also with contentment that maybe I do belong here.

I hope you do not have malicious intent when you say you shall remind me that my life has been thrown away. Although I may never understand your hurt and pain at my departure, I hope that you can find it in your merciful soul to forgive me for what I have done.

And as for the queen, a woman who does not know you is not a woman who can dislike you. She has not been able to see you and your greatness in all that it is. My friend I hope that things pan out well there, and if not, I hope that you keep yourself safe and whole. This world is dark and cruel and you are one of the few lights left in it.

And as for your curiosities I will answer your questions. It is frigid here, coldness you can feel down to your bones and into the marrow. No matter how much warmth you have you can always feel the cold. The wall is taller than the sky, it goes beyond the clouds and is terrifying how great it is when you see it up close.

I fear that you're angry with me, I can feel it in your words that I have read. Please do not hate me for what I have done.

Until next time ,

CROW