Pictures and Words

Chapter 19

Chapter 19

It was nine o’clock when I got up the next morning. I checked my phone, expecting the usual text from Harry. Instead, there was one from Riley. I took a deep breath, then checked it.

We’re trending worldwide on twitter, baby! Hope you enjoy the tour ;)

My jaw dropped. “What?!” I pulled Twitter up on my phone and instantly regretted it. For the second time this week, Riley and I were the top trend.

Most of the tweets consisted of pictures and hateful words. One picture was of me dragging Riley by the hand to see the London Eye. Another was of us just walking, hand-in-hand, down the sidewalk while I talked to Katy (who was, at that time, holding Dylan’s hand). Then the last one, the one of Riley kissing me. Tears blurred my vision, but I went to the next trend, the one about Katy and Niall.

The same picture of us walking with Riley and Dylan was on her trend. After that one was the one of Dylan grabbing Katy by the waist and spinning her around while Riley and I laughed, only you couldn’t see Katy’s face so you couldn’t tell she was yelling at him. Then there was one of Dylan hugging her before they left.

“No, no, no.” I shook my head, wiping away tears. This couldn’t be happening. Harry couldn’t find out this way.

I jumped out of bed and ran across the hall to Katy’s room. She was sitting on her bed in must the same state I was, a horrified look on her face.

“Katy, we have to go see them.” I said, trying to calm down but unable to keep the tears from flowing.

She nodded, rubbing her eyes before she got out of bed, we didn’t say anything else to one another, we just left our flat and went in the directions of our boys’ flats. Harry’s was directly across the hall, so I didn’t have to go anywhere.

It was Louis who answered when I knocked.

“He doesn’t want to talk to you.” He said, giving me a cold stare.

I deserved that.

I sniffled, looking at the ground before I looked back up at him. “Please, Lou. I need to speak to him.”

He stared at me for a couple more seconds before stepping aside and letting me in.

“Thank you,” I whispered as I walked past him.

“He’s in his room.” Louis told me, going back to the couch where he was watching TV.

I tiptoed down the hallway, every step causing a new wave of fear and regret to pass over me. When I got to Harry’s door I hesitated, unsure if he would even speak to me. I let out the breath I was holding and knocked on the door.

“Go away, Louis.” His voice broke along with my heart.

My voice shook when I responded. “It’s not Louis.”

Silence.

I wasn’t sure if that was better than him yelling at me or not, but I opened the door anyway. He was laying across his bed, his back to the door with his arms around his pillow. I bit my lip and tentatively sat in his desk chair. He still didn’t budge.

“I was going to tell about what happened yesterday,” I began, pulling my knees up to my chest to try and make myself as small as possible.

He scoffed.

“I was. As soon as I got the chance, I was going to tell you. I would’ve told you last night, but I didn’t even know how to explain it. I needed time to process how stupid I was.”

He sat up and turned around to face me, letting me see the tears that were making trails on his beautiful face. There was nothing that could have hurt me more than that look. “Why’d you do it then? You told me he was just a friend. Obviously, he meant more than that.”

“I… I don’t know how to answer the first question.” My voice was barely audible but I swore I would tell him the truth. “I used to like him when I was younger, then him and Dylan moved away and Katy and I moved on. The longer I was around him, the more those feelings started to come back. It’s not the same as I feel around you, though, not even close. It was just like a stupid crush that decided to come back and make a mess of things…”

His fists clenched. “You could’ve chosen to ignore those feelings if you really cared about me.”

Another knife to my heart. “I know. I’m an idiot, okay? I messed up majorly and I understand if you hate me. I just wanted to let you know I never wanted this to happen. I never wanted to hurt you.”

This just made him look even more broken. “Then why did you do it? Why did you kiss him? What did you expect to happen, huh? You should’ve known the paparazzi would follow you since we were official, but that didn’t matter, did it? Were you even thinking about this would hurt me?”

I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. They won the battle and rushed down my face, making it harder for me to speak. “Harry, I really didn’t mean for this to happen. When I said I would hang out with him, I never had the intention of it ended like that. I do care about you, more than you think right now. It was stupid and I hate myself for it-”

“Then why did you do it?” He was on his feet now, towering over me.

“I don’t know!” I shouted, breaking down. “I don’t know.”

He ran his hands across his face, his temper starting to get the best of him. “I wish we had never met.”

There went the last piece of my heart. It was completely shattered now. “I deserve that,” I mumbled, standing up because I knew this conversation was over.

He turned his back to me again. “Just leave… Please. I don’t want to see you anymore.”

I headed to the door, but turned back when I thought of something. “I know this won’t change anything, but I’m pretty sure this was Riley’s plan. He texted me earlier and seemed proud of the trend.”

And with that I left.