Eternities Revenge

Nine

As the weeks passed my dreams were filled with nightmares of me turning into my old angel of death self. In each dream I was killing someone I loved. The worst dream out of all of them was the one where I finally did what Lucifer had asked of me. Zane was trapped in a corner while I stalked towards him with my wings spread out behind me. He tried to stop me from getting closer but I knocked his hands away. As the dream progressed, I watched as I shoved my hand through his chest. His ribs crunched and my hand curled around his heart as I crushed it. Zane's body grew limp as he died. A smile twisted its way onto my face as the bright, white soul curled its way around my arm. I ripped my arm out the hole in Zane's chest and turned to face Lucifer.

I woke up with an attempt to scream but it got caught in my throat as another nightmare tore me away from the peacefulness that sleep used to offer me. I looked down to see that Zane was fast asleep and unharmed, his brown hair sticking out in all directions helped calm me a little. The little familiar sight of his messy hair helped relax me and allowed me to realize that it was nothing more than just a dream.

It was so hard to bring myself out of the dreams because I didn't fully understand the dream was over until Zane woke up to find me curled up in a tight ball. He tried to coax me out of my protective shell but I felt safer behind it then without it.

I could tell that my behaviour for the last few mornings has been worrying him but I refused to tell him what I was dreaming about. I didn't want him to think of me as a monster nor did I want him to tell the others. It was better for everyone to believe that I was fine, that I could handle this.

As the realization slowly sunk in I carefully laid back down onto my back. My breathing was starting to slow but my hands still shook. I raised them above my face and stared at them as they twitched above me. I raked them through my pale hair in an attempt to stop them from shaking but the harder I tried to stop them the more they seemed to shake. I eventually gave up and dropped my hands onto my stomach; I couldn't place them near Zane because he would no doubt feel them shake.

I took a deep breath as I tried to go through the dream again, I closed my eyes and visualized what had happened. In this dream I had attacked Ella, fragile Ella. I had knocked her from off of the top of a tall building. She had fallen while screaming. I had flown after her and caught her but killed her in that moment; her soul twisted its way around my arm as I let her go.

The shaking intensified. It had spread throughout my whole body. I carefully rolled onto my side and curled into a tight ball. My knee accidently bumped into Zane causing him to stir. I bit my bottom lip as his eyes fluttered open; he turned his head to look at me. Our eyes met and I could see the look of concern on his features. Zane opened his mouth to speak but I quickly snapped my eyes shut in hopes that he would leave me alone.

I felt a warm hand press against my arm and I knew that Zane wouldn't leave me alone. I squeezed my eyes trying to show Zane that I didn't want to be disturbed but he shook my shoulder forcing me to open my eyes and stare at him. The moment our eyes met again I burst into tears.

Zane wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest. He stroked my hair while I sobbed in his arms. I felt so weak for crying but I couldn't contain it any longer. I wasn't sure how much longer I was able to watch the people I care about die night after night. It would be easy for me to watch them die at the hand of Lucifer but no, it was me who killed them night after night. I felt like a monster and I couldn't help but feel that way. I was the person that was killing my friends in those fucked up dreams!

"It's going to be okay," Zane whispered in my ear. "It was only a dream."

My body shook harder at the mention of the word dream. Sure it was only a dream but it felt way too real to be a dream. I could still feel the soul wrapped around my arm.