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​The feeling of how close he was as he towered over me.

While I stood, not facing him, sobbing, in the middle of the living room, he stood behind me after giving me a half hour by myself.

He was so close I could feel the heat of his body creeping onto my frozen skin. I got cold when I cried so hard.

My hand was shaking.

I turned to face Luke, trying to resist ramming my fist into his stomach angrily. I wasn't strong enough to resist hitting him and I was blindly lashing out, probably not landing any hits. Everything was blurry.

He let me hit for a moment before I felt the touch of his hands going over my balled up fists. I whimpered, trying to pull away from him, not wanting to enjoy the sensation of him holding me. But he held on and I had to go against my better judgement and force of habit not to allow myself to sink into his chest.

I kept flailing my arms as he held onto my hands, gazing down at me with a look I assumed was pained sadness.

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