You belong with me (A Harry Styles fanfiction)

Chapter 36 - breakpoint

“You’re not meeting him again Emily”

I found myself in the kitchen unpacking the groceries while Harry stood beside the refrigerator. He keeps telling me the same thing but I don’t know what to say. I know what Zach did was terrible and somehow I feel like an idiot having an urge to lie to Harry and say everything is fine. I don’t want him to be pressured anymore. I can handle this by myself.

“Harry, its fine”

“Fine? How is that fine?! You were crying your eyes out there Emily! It was a good thing he didn’t stay for long or I would’ve-” He starts to raise his voice

“Harry please, He just wanted to go inside the hou-“

“He wanted to get something from you!”

I flinched and put the last item at the table and looked at Harry. He was still mad but he wasn’t looking at me anymore. He kept looking at the ground and his fists were still clenched. I felt another sting at my chest. Am I even trying to keep this to myself and not let Harry be involved with this? Or was I even trying to make it difficult for him?

Silence was between us and I don’t know what else to say to him. Harry was right. Zach wanted more from me and I keep denying it. But if I let myself stay away from Zach, people might be suspicious. And I don’t want to be another reason of Harry’s hardships.

Again…

“You know” Harry spoke and looks back to me “I’m starting to dislike this Zach kid”

I didn’t say anything which made him continue

“Even at the first time I met him.. I knew he would be a pain in the ass” Harry starts to laugh

“It’s funny how I just met the first person and I felt like he was going to be my competitor” He stares at me then looks away

Competitor?

“What do you mean?” I asked

Harry suddenly looks at me then walks closer. He was only an inch from my face and I can’t help but look up at him. I stared at his eyes and I can see a hint of sadness, desperation, loneliness. He suddenly cups both of my cheeks. I didn’t flinch at his touch and I let myself touch his hands. Harry carefully kisses me and I was surprised. But I carefully closed my eyes and feel what I really wanted to feel.  I also feel the same desperation, loneliness and sadness. I just wanted to throw them all away and go back to who I was then. I wanted the old me and Harry back.

Should I really just ignore all of this and go back to Zach so that Harry wouldn’t have much pressure on himself? Should I escape from the world I’m in and be the one who keeps my heart pounding each time he comes closer to me. Each time he touches me the way he knows. Each time how he makes me smile the brightest and makes me forget the world..

We carefully pull apart but Harry was still holding my cheeks. I looked at him as he did as well. He leans his forehead to mine and kissed it. I know I’m supposed to avoid this but I couldn’t help myself. It’s like my body has a mind of its own. In my mind I keep thinking that this shouldn’t be happening but my body won’t obey it. Is it my heart that wants to speak out load? Is this what it wants? Is this what I want?

“Emily” Harry spoke up and I look at him. He rubbed his thumb at my cheek then he carefully hugs me.

“I love you”

I gasped and let myself cry again. He said it again… He said those three words that made my heart flutter. Those three words that made me so happy but somehow… why am I crying? Why does it hurt this much? He said these two times already and yet… why do I feel sad and still lonely…