Butterfly Kisses

Seventh kiss

When Hunter's mum said there had been a change, I expected fireworks and roses because it was the words I had been waiting to hear for more than three months. I wanted something to change, I wanted him to improve. I didn't want him to get worse.

"Why don't you all take a seat." The doctor said queitly, waving his hand in the direction of the empty waiting room. I walked slowly and Hunter's arm was wrapped around his mums waist, basically holding her up because she was crying, I knew something bad was about to happen and I wasn't sure I was ready for it.

I took a seat in front of Hunter and his mum, the doctor standing between us.

"We have been recording and watching Henry's progress for a long time now, too long," He said queitly, not quite meeting any of our eyes,"The team that has been working on him have all agreed that it's time you start thinking about turning off his life machine."

I guess I knew this was coming, I just hadn't admited it. They couldn't keep him on the machine forever, but if they turned it off I would be resposible for murder. I should be the one in this hospital. Henry is going to die because of me. I could feel Hunter's stare burning into me and I tried hard to ignore it as tears welled up in my eyes. My stomach churned and I felt like I was going to be sick. I killed him. i couldn't stay here any longer. I ran.

I could hear Hunter calling after me but I didn't care. I felt completely drained, all of my energy has been focused on Henry and I just felt sick. Why did he have to be in that car with me? Why did that man have to try and kill himself in front of my car? Why did Henry make me drive?

Suddenly, I was angry. I hated feeling like this. When I got outside the hospital I made a straight line to my car. I knew I shouldn't drive like this but the irony was lost in me. I didn't care.

I drove while crying, the never ending stream making my stomach clench and I was relieved when I reached the drive way. Now that I had stopped driving all together, it was like my body had a mind of its own. I was screaming and hitting the steering wheel. The release felt so good.

I hit it again, again and harder this time. I could feel my hand numbing.

"Why?" I asked myself or anyone who would listen. Everything would be fine right now if we hadn't of gone out that night! I cried so hard I wrapped myself into a ball on the seat. I couldn't stop.

When the car door opened, I expected it to be my mum. there was no doubt that Hunter's mum had already called her. That's why I was surprised to find large hands rub my back soothingly.

"Did you follow me?" I hiccuped and he hushed me. I was being carried inside.

I continued to cry, the tears no doubt making a huge patch in Hunter's shirt.

"Oh my god." I heard my mum gasp, rushing towards me. Hunter's hold tightened around me.

"She's okay, we'll talk about it when I get back down." He assured her but I could barely think or process the rest of their conversation. I could only cry.

When I landed on my bed and the covers were being put over me, I basked into the warmth.

"Hey." Hunter whispered and I buried my face into my pillow.

"It hurts, so much."

My cries were much smaller now, but still there nonetheless.

"Cora, he doesn't deserve your tears." He told me sadly and I frowned.

"What does that mean?" He shurgged in reply and I sat up. "No, why the hell would you say something like that? He's your little brother!" I almost yelled, and he looked down. "He's your little brother and he's in a coma because of me! It's always because of me!" My stomach caved and I felt like vomiting, the cries becoming so loud and so desperate they physically hurt me.