The Hardest Part is Letting Go {Falsettos}

Why?

A/N: This chapter mentions thoughts of suicide! No actually attempts, but just talking about it. 

  "I just don't understand why you wouldn't let me talk to him," Whizzer mumbles in frustration from his spot on the bed, careful to keep his voice down so Jason wouldn't hear him in the next room.

  Marvin sighs loudly and drags a hand down his face with a groan. "Because we were in a public setting with people who are aware that you're dead. Besides, I would rather not have to take my son to the hospital for a heart attack. We've been over this twice, Whizzer. Nobody needs to know you're still here. I don't want anyone to admit themselves into a mental institution because they think they're hallucinating."

  "Yet you'll gladly let your son have a mental breakdown on a baseball field." Whizzer snaps, rolling his eyes. "Whatever Marv, let your son suffer while you enjoy your rise from crippling depression."

  Marvin scoffs, standing from the bed and walking over to Whizzer's side. "What the hell am I supposed to do, huh? 'Hey son, you know how we went to Whizzer's funeral six months ago? Well, he's back as A FUCKING GHOST.'" He raises his voice towards the end, prompting Whizzer's expression to grow darker.

  "Jason is literally in the next room, Marvin, keep your voice down! And don't you dare yell at me! It's not like I could control dying!"

  "Why couldn't you just leave it at that, huh?! Why couldn't you just die and leave us to grieve?!"

  "Why can't you move on?! Don't sit there and tell me you were trying, either. You and I both know what you have hiding in your dresser!"

  Marvin's face falls, shock taking over his previously angry demeanor. "...I don't know what you're talking about-"

  "Bullshit. I was here when you brought it home. You weren't exactly discreet about it."

  "Well, when you live by yourself you don't tend to be very secretive about what you do inside your own home." Marvin spits, taking a seat on the bed and exhaling loudly.

  "Why did you buy it?" Whizzer asks after a long pause.

  "I was thinking about joining the FBI, accounting's getting boring." Marvin shoots back sarcastically. "Why the fuck do you think I bought it, Whizzer?"

  "You know damn well what I'm asking, Marvin. How could you even think of doing something like that? You have a kid, a son who needs you."

  "And I have a lover who left me when I needed him most."

  "I told you, it's not like I could really control it. I tried to hang on, Marvin. For your sake, for Jason's sake...for everyone. Turns out death doesn't quite work that way. It takes you whenever it damn well pleases." Whizzer's shaking in a mix of emotions by now, trying desperately to keep his voice down as to not prompt Jason to investigate.

  "Why not me? Why you, of all people? We were finally happy, finally getting our lives together..."

  "Marvin-'

  "No, I wanna know why. I wanna know why they had to take you from me so soon." Marvin chokes out, looking down at the bed to avoid Whizzer's gaze.

  "...I don't know." Whizzer whispers, taking a spot in front of Marvin and lifting his chin to look him in the eye. "But I do know that your son needs you in his life, and shooting yourself is the stupidest fucking idea that has ever come into your mind."

  Marvin lets out a shaky sigh, letting a few tears fall down his face. "I just...I felt so alone. Everywhere I looked, anything I saw just reminded me of you. I was hurt, and scared, and angry...I just wanted to see you again..."

  Whizzer pulls Marvin into a tight hug, letting the man bury his face in his shoulder and sob. "Well, I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere." He whispers, though the expression on his face tells a different story.

  Both men were too absorbed in the current situation to hear the bedroom door open.

  "Hey Dad, I- .....holy shit...."

  Marvin jumps back to see Jason standing in the doorway, face paled and mouth open in shock.

  "Oh, God...Jason, fuck..." Marvin swears under his breath, looking over at Whizzer before standing up and slowly walking over to his son.

  "You...I-I...He...W-We...." was all Jason managed to stutter out before falling to the floor, unconscious.