The Grave Digger

Chapter 18: Memories

Bones was able to start selling again, and she was glad. She had lost so much from not selling. But when she saw herself in the mirror, she never wanted to look again. She was so pale, and somehow much skinnier than before. She knew she was at least 20 pounds underweight, and she knew that wasn't good. She had to sell a lot that day because she knew she needed food.
It seemed time had flown by. Every day she seemed to be selling better. Some days might be worse, but she did seem to be doing pretty well. Eventually, summer ended, and winter came. It was really cold, selling without a coat and all, but she got through it. It wasn't like it was something she'd never done before, after all, and she had gotten used to it. But February was by far the worst. It had started out pretty well, just cold, but by the end of the month, Bones just wanted it to be over.
It all started one morning when she got to the distribution center. She was greeted by the Delancey's taunts, but she ignored them, per usual. She sat down next to Race, waiting for the bell, when she realized he was shifty, and wouldn't meet her eyes. "Hey, Race, wha's wrong?" He flipped through one of his papers, looking for headlines, at least, Bones guessed so. "Nuttin'." She looked at him longer, but he still wouldn't say anything. "So, ya gonna tell me da headline, or am I makin' 'em all up?" Race took a sharp breath. "Oh, look, some lady had four babies at a time." He still wouldn't tell her what was going on. This calls for desperate measures, she thought. She pressed herself closer to Race, put her hand in his, and laid her head on his shoulder. "Tell me!" She pleaded. "Hey, Bones, some ship blew up off da coast of some country." Mush appeared behind them. She pushed herself off of Race, "is dat wha' ya didn' wan' ta tell me? Really?" She was confused. Why would she care? Race took another sharp breath. "Bones... it was Rebel's ship."
Bones took a deep breath. Now she knew why Race didn't want to say anything. "What?" Her mouth was agape, and she was speechless. She hadn't spoken to Rebel in over a year, and now she felt terrible. She missed him. "Yeah." She sat next to Race, confounded. "Does it say who all was okay?" Race shrugged. "Not really, it says dey idenified some o' da guys dat didn' make it, an' Rebel's one o' 'em. I'm so sorry." All of a sudden, Jack came over and hugged her. "I'm sorry Bones. I know you an' Rebel was good friends." She couldn't really say much.
She sold with Jack that day, down at the park. They were pretty quiet, other than hawking the headlines, but Jack could tell, her heart was not in it. Either way, she still sold very well. Good headlines really do help. She was still quiet when they made their way back. They bought some bread, but that was the only time Jack heard her speak for the rest of the night. He felt bad, but there wasn't much he could do. Rebel was Bones' first real friend, and he knew that she had liked him. He also knew that Rebel had just been there for her, and that when he left, she had been devastated. But the next day, things were gonna be different.
Bones couldn't sleep. She really couldn't. She kept thinking about Rebel. She thought about the times they had, sitting on the docks, talking and laughing. She thought about some of the fights they had. Like the one they had when she first became the King of Brooklyn.
"I just felt invisible once my brother was born, as if they'd forgotten about me. So I just ran away." She looked at him. "You think you had it hard? You don't even know the half of it!" She screamed at him, on the verge of tears. He reached out to gently grab her wrist, but she pulled away. She turned so her back was facing him, and sat down at the edge of the pier, her feet almost gracing the water below. He sat down behind her, not daring to say a word. She was breathing hard, and she knew Rebel expected her to say something. "My parents gave me to him when I was one. At least, that's what he told me. I don't know much about who he was, but he said I was his niece, I don't know what that is. But he'd get angry if I didn't listen, and he'd get angry if I talked too much, and if I wore the wrong thing. And when he was angry, he did horrible things. He hit me, and burned me, and cut me, and threw me into walls. And he- he," her voice broke, and the thought nearly hurled her into tears, "he did terrible things. He just wanted my ring, but I wouldn't let him have it. And he always said something about having babies when I grew up. I don't know what he meant by that. But the only good thing about that place was, there was this one little boy that would sometimes go down there and help me. He looked a lot like Race. He gave me these clothes," she pulled on the shabby clothes that were much too big for her, "and he helped me get out. I don't know where I was, but I ran for hours without stopping, all the way to Jersey, where I hopped a train, and made my way here. Just thinking of that place makes me want to vomit, and gives me nightmares." She finished, her voice speeding up, until she was breathing hard. She was about to have a flashback, she hated those. Rebel rubbed her arm, terror in his eyes, "it's okay, calm down." But she couldn't. Her breathing was escalating, and she couldn't stop the panic from coming. But before anything happened, Rebel kissed her lips. It took her by surprise, but she kissed back. She pulled away. "No, Rebel, this is wrong." He looked her in the eyes. "What is?" "Us. You're six years older than me." He rubbed her shoulder. "Bones, age is just a number." She looked down. "A number that dictates our lives." He lifted her chin. "Does age dictate who becomes the King of Brooklyn?" he asked. She shook her head, while saying, "no." He looked back into her eyes. "Then why should it dictate who we love?" She was silent. She loved him so much, but she just felt their ages were too different. But she knew people with more of an age gap than six years. He pressed another kiss to her lips. "Bones, will you be my girl?" he asked, running his hands through her huge mane of red hair. She looked into his blue eyes, lovingly. "It has to be a secret, people might think I've gone soft, and the age gap-" she cut herself off, but Rebel understood. He nodded, and agreed. At least it meant they'd get to be together. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and she said he should go back to the lodging house and get some sleep. He pressed some more small kisses to her lips, and walked away.
God, she hated flashbacks. She hated remembering things. It just brought back more memories, and those were terrible. But remembering Rebel was even worse. It was as if she was reaching out to grab something, but the moment she was close enough to grab it, it fluttered away. Or if she did grab it, it got taken away from her. That's how she felt when Rebel left them, left her. Thinking about it, she started to silently cry. She hadn't made any noise, but tears started to flow down her cheeks. That was horrible. She felt so sensitive. She had taken years to build up her reputation as rock hard, nothing could break her, for it all to come crumbling down. She wondered who would all miss her if she just flew off the- "Bones? Are you okay?" Her thoughts were interrupted by someone. She wiped her tears away, and sat up. It was Mush. "Yeah, I'm fine." Of course, her voice cracked. He motioned for her to follow him downstairs.
They sat across from each other, Mush watching her as she looked down at her feet. "It's okay ta cry, ya know. Ev'ry one cries, espesh-ly when someone you loved dies." Bones took some shaky breaths as tears started to flow down her cheeks once again. Mush went over and hugged her. She felt protected, like nothing, no one could hurt her. The same way she felt around Jack, or Spot. Nobody knew, but Bones always felt vulnerable. Being the smallest and the only girl had perks, yes, but they also had downsides. But moments like these made her feel she actually did have a family, and made her forget the times she wanted to fly away. Mush was hugging her, and rocking her, how a mother would a child. She wrapped her tiny arms around him, somewhat wishing he were Race.
The next morning, Bones woke up. She was back in her bed. But hadn't she just been downstairs with Mush? Maybe it was all a dream? Or maybe he brought her back to her bed? Whichever it was, she was awake before everyone, and once again, before the sunrise. She looked around, and everyone was asleep and accounted for. She silently snorted at her joke, then thought about how Rebel would have laughed, and how beautiful it would have been. That made her more depressed. She was tempted to wake Race up again, but she thought she should let him get as much sleep as possible.
She climbed up to the spot she always loved. If you sat in the right place, you could see over all the buildings, and you could see all the rays of the sun burst into hues of red, orange, and pink. The scene was breathtaking, and Bones wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. She remembered how she and Race had sat up there, all those months ago, when she had been sick, and longed for that again. They had both sat in comfortable silence, watching the beauty of nature shine it's way to a new day, hoping the moment would last forever. But things come to an end, they all must, and Bones wished they didn't. She wished she had some paper so she could recreate that scene in a drawing.
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   One day, in mid-March, as it was just warming up for spring, Bones was running. Someone had sent one of the bulls after her when she stole some bread from a street vendor. Her knee was, luckily, not hurting, so she ran. She ran until she thought she was far enough ahead that she could stop. When she did, she was in front of a large building. She heard music coming from inside. Beautiful music. She was so entranced, she entered. She walked down a long hallway, and peeked through a door. It was an amazing site. There were young women floating around the stage in beautiful, flowy dresses. That couldn't have been right, humans can't float. She wanted to get closer. She looked around, and, seeing no one, she silently slipped through the doors.
She was on the side of the stage, hidden between the curtains. She was wrong, the women weren't floating, they were moving around on their toes. She wanted to get closer, but she didn't think it was a good idea. She didn't want to get in trouble. The women were stunning, with their long legs, flawless arms, and strong bodies. Bones looked down at her own pathetic body, and wished she could be like them. She hid and watched until it was over, and she wanted to meet them. She was contemplating going up to one of them, until someone tapped her shoulder. She swallowed all her pride as she turned around.
It was one of the women she had seen on stage. "What is your name?" she asked Bones. But Bones was frozen, was she going to be in trouble? The woman smiled. "It's alright, you won't be in trouble. My name is Adelaide, will you tell me yours?" Bones hesitated for a second. "I go by Bones. W-wi-will you buy a newspaper?" It was all she could think to say. Adelaide laughed. "Of course. Come backstage with me, meet some of my fellow dancers." Bones grabbed her cane and newspapers, and followed her. She secured the newspapers in the rope tied around her waist, and grabbed Adelaide's outstretched hand. She felt like a little child again, and she missed that.
When they got back to the change rooms, people were staring at Bones and Adelaide. It made Bones really uncomfortable. But Adelaide introduced her to the other people, and she got asked a lot of questions. It must have been an hour before she answered everyone's questions, and they all bought papers from her. She ended up selling all her papers, and she felt really good inside. But she still wished she could do what they could, and when she said this, they all told her she could, even with her knee being bad.
When she started back to the lodging house, it was almost midnight. She walked in, and Jack was really mad. "Where were you? We was worried! Race thought ya mighta jumped off da bridge or was attacked or caught or summin'!" She almost felt bad, but she laughed and said she was fine. "I was runnin' from da bulls, an' I comes across dis theatah, an' I goes inside, an' I saw da mos' amazin' thing. Goils was movin' on dere toes, in dese real flowy dresses. Dey was ballet dance-ahs. You shoulda seen it, it was beautiful. An' I's met one o' 'em, her name was Adelaide, an' she introduced me to da uddahs. Dey was all so nice, an' dey bought all my papahs from me." Race came running in at that moment, yelling, "I can' find her, I'm real worried- Bones!" She turned around, and hugged him, recounting her adventure. He smiled, and was just as amazed as she was.