Lost

Chapter 36

I have never been able to notice when people were drunk or something. And neither did I notice when people smoked weed. How should I? I never had to deal with those kind of people. In my life, everything always was pretty organized, clean and well-educated. There was never any drinking, never any smoking for me, and never ever would I have been thinking about doing drugs. Until my eighteens birthday I never actually drank anything and here I am now, surrounded by drunken, high people, some of them making out. Joss may have said there are not that many people, but here are enough to make me feel uncomfortable.

Well, that is not my real problem though. The shock that just caught me and made me stop breathing is the fact that I now know who Harry fought with to get hurt. It is Josh. I know that he is since he looks even worse than Harry, he has a black eye and I believe this cut on his ear is much longer than I can see right now. What happened between them?

Joss next to me sighs. “I told him to stay at home.”

I know she is talking about Josh, I bet that is why she was at his place anyway.

I look at her. “What happened to him?”

She looks at me and presses her lips together. “Harry happened.”

Just like I said, I had known it. The only questions is.. why?

I frown. “Why did he do this to him? Why did they fight anyway?”

Joss shrugs her shoulders. “I don’t know really. Just Josh and Harry know, Josh is not talking to me ‘bout that, ‘cause Harry told him to shut up and yeah.. you know how intimidating Harry can be, don’t you? So Josh remains silent for now and maybe for forever.”

“I am so sorry” I say and look back at Josh who is looking at me.

I know what he did to me and I probably should not feel sorry for him, but I do. Harry can be such a jerk and Josh really looks like he is in pain. Harry does not though, he looks at a girl, checks her out and then turns around. When his green eyes meet mine, I feel his darkness again, those demons in his eyes. He wears all black again, his tattoos cover his body as usual and I know that he is not normal. I always know that, but now it becomes clearer again.

The shock that I helped him after he had hurt Josh that much is everywhere inside of me. Now that I know where he got those wounds from, I feel bad for helping him and I feel very uncomfortable towards Josh and Joss. Harry is an asshole in each kind of way!

Suddenly I see Harry’s expression change and he stares at my boobs. I want to turn away when I notice that he does not look like he wants to have sex with me but like he wants to kill me like right now and this second. He seems to be angry, his eyes darker than usual if that’s even possible and his lips are pressed into a thin line. His fists are big and his knuckles show up at the surface in a pure white, his whole body is tensed. What is going on?

He walks straight towards me and I feel my knees go all weak under me. I do not know what to do and so I just stare at him when he walks towards me. When he reaches me, he grabs my throat and makes me look at him this way. I stare up into the green death, those dark eyes, into those demons of Harry. This is really scary! I can not move a bit like I am totally paralyzed and the only thing I can do is staring at him in fear. Do I have to worry about my life now? I can never be sure about what is coming next when it comes to Harry.

“Where do you have this necklace from?” he growls angrily.

I swallow and try to get away but he only tightens his grip around my throat so that I can barely breathe. “It was in my back suddenly when I was out with Joanna and Connor. I found in in there, I don’t know why it was in there.”

I do not know why I answer him, I do not have to defend myself or find any excuses for what I do or what I do not do. I do not own him anything and I could not care less about what he says. But ones again I am afraid he will hurt me really bad and I already saw Josh, so that is enough for me to see. I do not want the same thing happen to me and I do not doubt it a second that he would hurt me just as bad as Josh. Harry does not care about which sex he has in front of him, if female or male. To him, I guess we all are just his enemies.

“That’s weird” Harry says, his voice deep and full of anger “because this is my necklace!”

I stop breathing and get big eyes. “What?”

That is not possible.

Harry’s grip tightens even more. “So you really nicked my necklace. I was right.”

“No” I say and shake my head “I didn’t.”

My heart is skipping a fast beat and I feel my legs tremble. I do not know how I make these shortform anyway, but I am glad I do.

Harry takes away my necklace and shoots me a death glare. “You’ll see what those consequences for nicking my things are! And you’ll regret having done that!”

He threatens me and tightens his grip a bit more so that I can not breathe anymore, I will die if he keeps doing that. And I am still not sure if he will let go or if anybody can make him leave me alone.

“Harry.. can’t.. breathe..”

He lets go of me, throws me away and I fall backwards onto the grass. My head hits the ground and I close my eyes because all I see is black and everything starts to turn. I am surprised he does leave me actually, but the way he does hurts pretty bad and I can not see anything. My head is totally numb and I do not know if I am bleeding or not, but it feels like I do.

Someone says “Niall, help her, please.”

And then I hear Niall. “No.”

I do not understand anything anymore. I found this necklace, I never nicked anything. And why does Niall do not want to help me? I do not understand what is going on anymore.

“Somebody call an ambulance, she’s losing consciousness.” I guess that this voice is from Joanna, I am not sure though. Those voices start to get away from me slowly.

The world around me starts to fade away as slow as the voices. One second I am brave enough to make my way to Harry and Josh, to a party I do not want to join actually. And then I am on the floor, starting to get lost in the darkness. Once again, just to say that.

With nothing around me, only weird voices, the world seems so much slower and lovelier, because here is no Harry who can annoy me. No Harry, who can hurt me. I have not known who beautiful life could be before I came to London. Now that I am not with Harry, it feels like I should go back to where I came from, back to Luces and Danyon. That is where it is safe.

“She is over there” someone says and I wonder if they called the ambulance.

I do not know if I am moved or if my world is spinning again. All I feel is some weird things I can not focus on and then those voices fade away as well. I am alone in this dankness, alone in my own world. Here is nothing but me.

That is a good thing though, I already said that. Here is no Harry that’s why.