Angels and Wallflowers - 1202

Letter Five

Friday, June 2, 2017
Dear, Friend

I'm honestly not sure how I like it here. Yes, I feel safe and I feel safe to go home, but I suppose that won't be happening for a while. It's just that with the person I fell in love with last always wanted to visit. Which was slightly annoying. And the school program with going to the fourth floor with the chapel and the churches. Which was just another time for people to try and get a code yellow. Or how most of the people that were here before have been discharged. Like Good Kush, she was discharged while still at home on a pass. Then Clean Record was discharged next. Black Hoodie was next. The reason behind Good Kush's name was that she offered to buy me some "good kush" but I politely declined that. Clean Record's reason was because her dad was her inspiration and he had a clean record. A goody two shoes I suppose. He probably did some similar things she did like smoke, have sex, and drink. Oh, I forgot. Clean Record wasn't a virgin and that was one of the reasons why she attempted. Black Hoodie's name was because when we were at our table she told us that if she was ever feeling any negative thoughts she would hide herself in this black hoodie. The day she was discharged she was wearing the hoodie. She didn't feel fully safe at home I guess. I almost forgot again, Guitarist was discharged too. I never understood why he was there though. I guess I never will. I also saw one of the doctors named Frosty. He was kind of monotone and claimed that he had heard it all. He also said that he had to dig a lot to get answers from me. I guess it was the depression masking everything again. I had trust issues and he knew that, after he dug and I told him. He seemed slightly gay but I didn't say anything as it might get me on his bad side. And it's not like it mattered what sexuality he was for me to talk to him.

I guess I was talking to many therapists about what lead to my attempted suicide. They had to get to the bottom of things. I didn't fully understand why I did it myself. Maybe it was an impulsive reaction to sadness I was feeling. I guess I was drinking a lot too so that mixed my emotions up.

Sorry I haven't been writing to you much, but there's not much to write about.

Love always,
-a