A Pure Love

Chapter 5

    We finally come apart when he pushes me by my sholders. And without another word he is dragging me on my porch. What happened? Did I do something wrong?
    "Open the door." He says with his husky voice while my trembling hands search through the small purse that hangs from my neck. I find the key, after a couple of unbearably silent minutes, but my hands are so cold that it just slips through my fingers. He takes the key from my feet, stopping me when I tried to get down. He unlocks the door, leading me in my doorway with a surprisingly warm hand, on the small of my back.
    We both take our wet shoes and socks off and he then leads me to the couch, which was the closest to the fireplace.
    "Would you like me to make the fire?" He asks me.
    "No, no I will start the fire you make yourself at-" but he gently pushes me, and let's me fall with my back on the couch, intrerupting me.
     "I said would you like me to make the fire?" He asks again, but I don't let myself intimidated by him. After all, this is my house. So I try to say again.
     "No I will-" but the glare that he shoots at me makes me literally eat my words.
     "You are one stubborn person! Stay right there, while I start the fireplace." This time there is no place for arrguments, as he turns his back to me and starts working on the fireplace.
    As he works alone, making me stare at his muscled back I realise that we are both socking wet. We should probably change if we want to avoid a pretty ugly cold.
     I get up and when he was going to protest again, feeling me moving from the couch, I cut him off saying.
    "We need to change, come with me I will give you some dry and warm clothes."
    I can see him trying to protest but I quickly start explaining again.
     "Now who is the stubborn one? Come with me!" I say and his expresion drastically changes from a slightly exasperated one to a maybe amused one?
      We walk the stairs to my bedroom and I start looking fast for some clothes that might feat him. Which wasn't really hard since all my house clothes are baggy and oversized.
I trow him a white T-shirt and a grey pair of sweatpants, that will for sure feat him and I show him the bathroom, where he can change. He walks amused to the bathroom and looks at the same time confused at the set of clothes that I have just thrown him.
   After he disappears from the room, I take out of my wardrobe some clothes, an oversived maroon sweater and a pair of leggings. As I change I accidentally see from the corner of my eye the cracked bathroom door. He didn't close the door! Oh god... his naked back was vizible through the door and how his perfectly square muscles flexed at his every move. I avert my gaze before he could actually chatch me starring at him, and continue to dress.
    A pitchy noise echoes through the house as the water boils on the stove. I pour it over two bags of forest fruit tea and the smell already feels my senses.
I didn't know what he likes, so I made him a dark coffee, as I believe that he might like it.
I hear big foot steps on the wooden floor, and I turn around to see a smirking Edward, leaning on the doorframe of my kitchen. He looks way more relaxed then I have ever seen him before.
   "What are you doing?" He asks me coming closer and closer to me.
   "Well, I-I made you a coffee, but I wasn't sure you would like it. I made it black, but if you don't like it I can make you a tea, I have all sorts of te-" his finger stops me from mumbling anything else and he takes the cup of coffee from my trembling hand sipping a little. A smile burst on his perfect cheseled face.
    "It's perfect." A small smile apears on my face. His close proximity and his fragrance remaind me of what just happened out side. I can't believe I just realised that...oh god, he is the boy that kissed me for the first time!
He sees my facial expression and a frown appears in between his brows. His soft skin creases in such a cute way over the bridge of his nose. But his hand on my shoulder reconnects me with the reality.
    "Are you ok? Did something happened?" I feel small tears at the back of my eyes. But I made it my mission to keep them out of his sight. He can't see me in this vulnerable state. I just don't know if things are going the right way. I have zero experience with this kind of stuff.
    A small shook of my arm makes me look straight into his eyes.
    "Tell me what's wrong." His voice just echoes through my head and it just doesn't want to register in my brain. It's like I can control my body, I can hear and feel everything, but I am just not present here.
     "I-I..I think I need to lay down." My small voice makes it sound only like an afirmation, with no scope in particular. I am not waiting for anything. In fact, I don't even know why I sad anything in the first place.
      My feet start moving and I feel his hand going back to the small of my back, but with my right hand I just brush over it trying to make him understand that his touch doesn't help at all. And I am lucky enough that he understood and didn't make me put more effort into it. He just took his hand away.
    I go to the couch and cuddle in a small ball into the grey blancket, looking at the cloudy grey sky and at the still small drops of rain that are feathering the windows. When I can feel someone's warmth embracing my small figure. It was Edward, he actually just hugged me and cuddled behind me on this small couch!
     I try at first, to push his hands, that are around my waist, away but I just give up when his grip just simply tightens around me and I realise that there is actually no escape from this situation now.
      My havy eyelids betray me, even if I wanted to stay awake and feel him around me more.
      I wake up to my alarm clock just busting the silance from the room, while the piercing light, which was coming through the small crack in the curtains, trying so hard to wake me up not letting me sleep anymore.
     I finally gather the currage to sit up and I lay my head against the headrest of my comfy and warm bed. It takes me some quality minutes to realise that I have never even got upstairs. The last thing I remember is me surrounded by the comforting warmth of his body. And then I focus my attention on the neatly folded clothes that were in the far corner of the bed.
     Did something happen? Have I done something wrong? I feel my eyes starting to water, that kiss shouldn't have happened, at list not with him. Why didn't I stopped him? What's wrong with me?
With my hole body trembling I manage to get on my feet. My hole body is hurting, what is happening? He is definitely not the guy for me, but somehow doing the wrong thing this time feels right. Well, it felt right.
    I go around my house like nothing happened, following my usual morning routine, blocking every thought of him or his lips.
     My phone starts to echo in the kitchen and I look at the person that is calling me this early in the morning. My mom's photo appears on the screen and I instantly feel the warm tears coming out. I have always been an emotional person, but this days I feel like I have cried way too much.
    I pick up and the calming sound of my mother's voice is making me want to see her in a metter of seconds.
    "Hi sweetie! How are you doing?"
    "Hi mom!" I say with a strangled voice.
    "Nessa, is something wrong?" I can never hide from her she is the most important person in my life, along with my dad.
    "No, no. I am fine" a small sob escapes my lips.
    "Sweetie, what going on? Is it about a boy?"
    And after this I just couldnt keep it in anymore. The full on tears cam out.
     "Nessa? What is the matter, is he not making you happy?"
     "I mean he is...at times...but I just feel like we shouldn't work. It's complicated."
    "Hey, we haven't seen in a long time. Maybe you could come home for the holydays. We can talk." A smile makes it's way on my wet face.
    "Actually, that would be amazing. I will think about it."
    "We love you sweetie!"
    "I love you too mom." And the line went dead.