No Hands but My Own

Chapter 19 - Age

Sle and I sat munching some berries. The sun was high in the sky and we were hungry. We had spent the last few hours trekking through the woods, looking for prey; we couldn't very well have Shrida cooking two nights in a row. While our hunt had not been fruitful game-wise, we had found some delicious hips to satiate the gnawing in our bellies. 

We basked in the summer's light, relishing the dazzling heat. Somewhere just out of sight we could hear a gurgling creek

"Ayri?"

Sle's voice drew me out of my relaxing doze.

"Hmm?"

"What are you thinking about?"

I snorted and sat up, raising my eyebrow. "Why do you want to know?"

He waved his hand at the clouds. "Your brain is such a fascinatingly twisted place."

"Ever the charmer."

"But really, what you thinking of?"

I sighed and reached out to play with a strand of grass just beyond my folded legs. "You're not going to let this go are you?"

"You know me. " He rolled to face me, a radiant and playful smile masking the weariness etched into his face. "I'm like a wolf with a bone. I never let anything go."

I sighed in resignation.

The silence between us grew and though it was not uncomfortable, it was unsettling. I tried to smile nonchalantly at Sle, but I could feel the strain at the corners of my slipping mask. A burning desperation creeped into my chest; I was tired of being sad, worried, and old.

I wanted things to go back to the time before I had held the weight of my clan's survival and revenge on my shoulders, when I was still a child. When my only worries had been whether or not my fellow warriors in training would steal my equipment or where I'd hide their "borrowed" stuff. When no one's life was my responsibility but my own.  Somehow, only one of those thoughts managed to escape the whirling confines of my skull.

"I'm too old."

Sle raised his eyebrow. "I'm a year older than you. And I'm not that old."

 "You were eighteen when my Choosing happened. It's been nearly twenty years since then."

"Seems like yesterday. Can you believe it's been ten years since the Joining of the South?"

I shook my head. "Face it Sle, we're old. Behind the times and on borrowed time."

"I wouldn't say borrowed -- earned is more like it." Sle paused before smiling , "Speaking of old, do you remember that old song that used to be about the world and love or something?"

"What?"

"You remember. That really old lullaby. We used to fight sleep just to hear it. It'd be the last song of the night? The embers would be dying down, we'd be tucked in our beds, and just the shadows of the adults would dance on the walls. Now, how did it go?" He stared pensively at the sky.

A fragment of a soft tune floated from Sle's lips, carrying with it the warm memory of security.

As sure as the sun shines, I will love you.

When winds blow and rain falls, I will love you.

As fire burns and water runs, I will love you.

When the skies shatter and fall,

And the earth rises in glorious heat, I will love you.