saturday was quite nice. i didn't do anything significant, but i did get to rest and catch up on some new music.
but, today is sunday.
let me explain, exactly, why that worries me.
i call sundays my 'suicide days' - for more than one reason.
for one, it's the day i'm supposed to go to church and worship the lord and all that good stuff. and every single time i do, it send me into an existential crisis on whether or not there really was a man up there and he had a plan for everything - or we were really all alone just waiting to die. cause so far, i'm not really hopeful.
secondly, it's the day before monday. it's the day where i realize i have to return back to trying to get through my life. it makes me think, it might be easier to feel nothing than to try and face this entire week alone - week after week after week.
it's just a dark day. sundays are always the worst. i don't know why they always seem so dismal, but they never fail to bring me down. every time.
i spend the day suffering from another chronic headache, bound to my bed. i haven't gone out in days. this headache just seems to be getting worse. i think another storm is coming.
it's getting late now, probably around one in the morning, and i begin writing again.
"this headache is becoming a state of mind.
now, let it be said what the headache really represents.
it's me defending in suspense,
it's me suspended in a defenseless test.
i'm being tested by a ruthless examiner,
that's represented best by my depressing thoughts.
- sincerely, tyler."
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migraine ; joshler
Fanfiction"because sometimes death seems better than the migraine in my head." ; [ lowercase intended - trigger warnings towards mentions of suicidal thoughts and self harm. this story is written by using every single lyric from twenty one pilots' "migraine"...
