migraine ; joshler

part seven; non violent

we get back at 11pm or so, and walk into my house. i'm confronted by my parents, who are confused as to why i brought my friend back with me, and simply tell them we wanted to have a sleepover.

we walk up to my room, and josh doesn't do anything more than wave to my family. i could tell he was still feeling uncomfortable.

we get to my room. it's about as average as his, nothing too special except for a few things hanging on my wall.

he sits down on my bed.

"can i sleep?" he asks, falling back onto my bed.

"of course. do you want something else to sleep in besides that old swimsuit and shirt?

"sure." he says.

i grab a pair of sweatpants and a white shirt. "these should fit you." i throw them at him, and he lets out a small chuckle.

he gets up and begins changing, and i naturally face the other way out of respect. "hey josh?" i ask. "yeah?"

"how do you feel about me?" i pause. "i know you said you liked me, but, what does that mean?" i ask, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"look, i hope even after i say this that you won't stop being my friend, and i know you probably don't like me in this way, but i love spending time with you. i'm not stressed when i'm around you, and you're the nicest person ever. i mean, you're cute and really - really like you."

i started blushing. "josh...i..." i say, and his expression drops. he looks absolutely broken.

"...feel the same about you." a smile appears on my face.

i look back up at him as he puts his (technically, my) shirt on, and he sits down next to me. his face looks like it's melting out of joy.

"well, that's a relief." he says, chuckling, and leans towards me.

oh shit oh shit oh shit oh-

and for the first time, our lips touch, and move perfectly in sync with each other. it felt... well, perfect. i can't believe i managed to find a guy like josh, and all after hitting him with a freaking door.

i lean back, breaking the kiss. his eyes dart back up to my eyes. "thanks for existing, tyler. you're a true blessing." he says, and scoots back towards the headboard, getting all under the covers.

"is it alright if i go to bed? it's been quite a day." he says, chuckling.

"of course. i'll be there in a sec." i say, my smile completely uncontained. i haven't been this happy in... well, i don't think i've ever been this happy.

so naturally, i need to write about it. i stand up, sit at my desk, and flip to a new page, and scramble to find a pen.

"i've got someone i love waiting for me, but just before i join him...

here's a message for sad tyler.

i will say that we should take a day to break away from all the pain our brain has made, let yourself enjoy things every once in a while.

the game is not played alone.

i will say that we should take a moment and hold it, and keep it frozen and know that
life has a hopeful undertone.

you may not always feel that way, but i can tell you two things. one - there will be moments you feel horrible and useless. that will happen, and there's no denying or stopping that. but two - there will be great moments, beautiful moments. that's something i can also guarantee. and those moments, you have to stay alive for. they're worth a lifetime, they're worth all the fighting. you've got to hold those moments in time. they are worth everything.

- sincerely, tyler"

i put the pen down, tears brimming my eyes. but this time, the tears were for good reason.

i turn around to a half asleep josh, and get into my side of the bed. his warmth was also worth a lifetime.

and for the first time in my life, i go to sleep truly happy.

___

[ sorry this is a short chapter, i'll hopefully make up for it in the next one. thanks for reading folks⚡️⚡️ ]