Lost.

Chapter 6 // Airplane Music

I absolutely hated the fact that I allowed myself to succumb to Leslie's constant texts regarding coming to England. From the day that she had asked me to tag along and Ash had blew up on me, right now, in this moment as I'm saying goodbye to Gertrude and Tyler, I can't help but wonder why time flies by so fast. School was a drag and I sat by myself during lunch and break for the most part, not really caring, as Leslie took part in her student council meetings.

It was disappointing to see that my father didn't come to say goodbye, leaving that duty for Gertrude and Tyler to fill. Other customers that knew me when The Hideout first opened also bid me farewell, sadly. My father couldn't say goodbye to his own last daughter, but strangers who barely knew me could.

Gertrude was bawling hysterically, and I felt a twinge of guilt for leaving her as we embraced for a few minutes. She babbled in Italian, to prevent others from hearing her bawl about me leaving her and how much she loves me. Tyler just gave me a quick short hug, looking a bit put off as he stood a bit awkwardly, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Cora would immediately jump to him and ask him what's wrong, but I'm not like her, so I suppose I'll never know why Tyler is acting strange. I'll never know a lot of things in fact which I find pretty discouraging and depressing.

I sit on the sidewalk of the small street The Hideout lives on, leaning against the wall of the building, waiting for Leslie's car to show up. The earplugs held in my ears blast soothing music, as I turn it up every so often to drown out the passing people. Joggers, walkers, workers, creepy men, anyone who is still awake within the sleeping night at this time.

The wind sashays around me, blowing my hair around as I browse my laptop, reading a tragedy story. Cora always chose romantics, shoving them in my face to read after she was done, or making Tyler or Gertrude suffer as she explained how sad or amazing it was. Tragedies weren't cliché like romantics. There might be a love story held within my books, but they never turned out well.

They give you the real truth about love. How strong it can be. How ugly its consequences can be. All in all you can say I don't believe in love. Most children and kids see their parents in love as they grow up, whereas the scenes I usually noticed between my parents were masks of fake happiness and sad faces. They were in love, but they didn't like to show it off publicly which had always confused me. Shouldn't a couple in love be able to show others so other know that they are already taken?

I'd see other parents of friends of Cora and I's showing their affection for one another, letting jealousy get the best of me. But the thing is, I had two loving parents who cared for me, and sheltered me, and I was just being selfish. They probably had dreams and futures awaiting them, but I had ruined them when I was born. When my mother died a few years later, probably because of me too.

I had ruined Cora's future, I had ruined my future, and I had especially ruined my father's future. My mother was the tie that held us all together as a family, falling a part or not, she promised she would be there. As if a curse to remind me of my loss everyday, I was unfortunately granted with my gray blue eyes. My mother's eyes. My white, milky tanned skin. Also my mothers. I was, unfortunately again, her spitting image.

Whereas Cora and my father were alike in their own ways as well. Bright, mischievous green eyes that shimmered with an underlying secret, dreamy naturally tanned skin, and the lightest brown hair you could ever find.

I was happy once, but nonetheless, quiet about it. I was quiet about everything. As a matter of fact, I never told Leslie about my feelings and aching feelings I allowed to be trapped within me, my sister had confessed my secrets to my best friend. No one else knows but Leslie, and well my sister did.