Cages

chapter six (edited)

Lola stared at me. Her facial expression didn't change from the neutral one but I can feel how nervous she became.

I didn't know why, but I didn't want her to look at me like that. Before I wanted to scare her away, but now I didn't want her to run away.

“What?” she asked. “Kacey...”

I sighed. “I– I just wanted them to go out and celebrate... but instead they ended up dead. It's all my fault.”

Lola seemed to relax a bit. She laid a hand on mine and I resisted the urge to shrug it off. I had to admit, the gesture was comforting. “What happened?” she asked.

“It was their anniversary. They wanted to just stay at home but I urged them to go out and have a good time. That night, it started raining. It wasn't anything serious so they went out. A little later on it got worse. It was a bad storm.”

I took a breath before continuing. I hadn't talked about this in a year and as I did I could hear a thunderstorm as if it was happening right then.

“They never came back home that night.” I whispered. “At around ten o'clock my father called telling me they were on their way back home. At ten forty I was called down to the hospital. My parents gotten into an accident. I figured it was bad since they had to got to the ER but... I didn't– I thought they would be okay. I didn't know how serious it actually was until I got there.”

“It was raining so much, Lola, like the other night. The car lost control and skidded across the intersection and the car was hit by a semi. My dad died on the way to the hospital. My mom put up more of a fight. By eleven o'clock she passed. And the worse part– the crash happened about fifteen minutes away from the house. They were almost home.”

Before I could react Lola pulled me into a hug. I stiffened for a moment before relaxing & wrapping my arms around her, closing my eyes. I could feel a little bit of my wall crumbling down.

“It's not your fault, Kacey.”

“Yes it is.” I argued. “If I wouldn't have made them go out they wouldn't have died.”

She pulled away and looked into my eyes. “You can't blame yourself. You couldn't have known they were gonna die. They were in a car accident. If they didn't go out who says it wouldn't have happened the next day?”

She was right. I couldn't prevent it from happening, no matter how many times I told myself I could've.

“You know,” I said. “You're the first person I told this story to since it happened.”

She smiled. “I'm glad you can trust me.”

“You kinda forced me.” I smirked.

Lola gasped. “Did Mr. Serious just make... a joke? And did he just smile?”

I shook my head immediately. “No. I didn't.”

“No,” she laughed. “I'm pretty sure you did.”

There was no point in denying it, she caught me. I shrugged it off like it was no big deal but on the inside I was having a panic attack.

“So what if I did?” I mumbled. “Get off my case.”

Lola just smiled. “It's happening.”

“What?”

“You're opening up to me.”

I shrugged. “Maybe.”

“Totally.” she smiled. “I'm really glad you let me in.”

“I'm glad you stayed.” I said and for the first time since my parents' death, I smiled.

Lola giggled. “Yeah, you haven't smiled in awhile. You look constipated.”

I glared at her but ended up laughing along (also for the first time).

Then I felt the rest of my wall collapse completely.