Disobedient Fuckplant

Toxic Friendships???

Rant/Not really/ I'm reminiscing/ I've been feeling really nostalgic today/it might be long js/ I may delete this part, or may never post it/ Why am I typing like this?

So idk I've just been missing people that I haven't thought about in literal YEARS or simply cut off because I just felt drained around them?

So it got me thinking about this certain person that it took me a while to realize that being around them didn't make me happy and instead made me want to hurt myself even more than usual?

(This was during the time I was being an overly emotional/sensitive crybaby that wished she was dead all the time) and this was also when I kinda went into school not having anyone to talk to cause my entire squad went to another school :/ so like I had acquaintances but it wasn't like I was close to them. ANYWAY, i found refuge with a person that no one really liked back then (or now tbh) And a few weeks after being friends I just really started trusting them and genuinely liked being around them and all this caused me to turn a blind side to all their bad habits and negativity. I would excuse it and say "that's just how they are", "people don't understand them", whatever I could think of, except "they're toxic". And if i'm being completely honest, two years later, I still want to excuse them and not call them this, but really... That's what they are.

I feel bad calling them this, because either I'm still not 100% sure, or like I said, I just don't want to admit it.

Although I've read some things about "toxic" people, and they fit in. a lot of the signs aren't there, but a huge part of their personality IS negative, judgmental, rude, thinks they're better than the rest.

Mind you, I am talking based on how this person was two years ago. From what I've seen recently, they seemed a little bit less depresive

and this is where I stop typing bc i won't post this lol

7/29/17 - ha, boo boo the fool. Look at you posting this.