Chemicals

Something not worth Keeping

I sat by a window last night and it was dripping in frost, I thought a single thought like a cover on a face that seems distraught

I cried last night, my pillow became damp at Skyfall. and my curtains remained shut up throughout it all. I smiled today, I guess it wasn't real although I had no makeup on, I could wipe it away with a single baby wipe. last week I laughed, an angelic thought for someone so dull. Never did I remember the sound my laugh made.

Then I heard her name, and everything wiped away. the lies and the truth, the cries and the boost. The smile and the frown. I heard your phone ring, and her name popped up. jealousy it hit me like a truck. My face became red and my sobs became violent. Silence. I called your name to say she was ringing. I didn't dare pick up. I was afraid of the answer, or that you'd hook up. The light darkened but remained bright. the smile on my face I fixed just right. the scars on my arms I covered in fright. and the tear in my heart I filled for the night. Feeling lost but acting found, for I was the one you smiled around. Do you laugh around her? or do you think of me? how my hair used to fall. Or did you stand tall around her? and forget it all? for I was in love with nothing at all.

I tried to cling on to what was left of the bar of my sanity. And I cried in the night for the slight sound of a voice. For I cringed at the thought of her voice on your phone. And I cried at the thought of hearing your ringtone.

I didn't dare say anything at all. for I didn't want to fall. Her name remained on your screen. My heart broke and teared at the thought of loving you, when you loved someone else. my eyes once sparkled, now glisten with fright. for I am fighting for something I thought was right. And you're reaching for a different dream to my own.

For she was perfect, and I was hardly known.