Numb: The Postscript

I. Repent

The removal of my gloves left a burning sensation upon my palms but also a feeling of relief.

I looked at my hands and started to ponder about what I've done with them— things I'm not very proud of, things that caused me to be kept imprisoned in this ship that further sailed away from Arendelle. Slumber was the only thing that freed me from these chains in which my conscience was held captive. At these times I stopped thinking.

I heard the metal clamor, and looked up to see sunlight blocked by a towering silhouette. "Get up, get up now! Time to get your undesirable self out of here." I slowly got up with a stiff spine while this man was ordering and insulting, and I just deafened my listening. I looked back at my cell as I departed. My gloves were sitting there, in solitude, and I had abandoned them.

--

The castle looked somber, at least in my eyes. What was to come came near. I felt my swollen face from Anna's blow starting to quiver. I was first seen by my father, and he looked at me with his tired eyes. He appeared more elderly, with the wrinkles on his forehead and in between his eyebrows.

"Hans, you are my son, but you aren't in this family." This talk again. It was already branded in my mind, since so many years ago. He continued after clearing his throat, "Your mother heard the news, she believes that you-"

"She cares? You care? And you think you know how I could change? I don't even know how. I'm constantly making these mistakes, and-"

"You must repent for what you have done... To yourself, to this kingdom, and to our name." Our name. Like it mattered— to me at least. "You are being painfully selfish, Hans."

I ended up having an outburst.

"Because I am the only one who loves me! And yet, I hate myself so much..."

My father lost eye contact, but I continued anyway. Maybe, just maybe, he was still listening.

"I am one whom nobody can love. And I hate that. I've loved, father, and can no longer love. Nobody gave me love to keep and cherish, and now I'm deprived of it. And now I don't have any to give."

My father drew in a big breath, and he sounded like he was going to say something. And so I waited as he hesitated. He began to walk, rushing, behind me. I knew it.

I headed straight to my room. I didn't want to greet my mother or brothers, I felt that I would deepen the scars in my chest. It hurt so much that I became immune to it. I was numb— numb as if ice didn't cool but burned the crevices of my scars and also my senses to feel and emote.

--

The evening's darkness began to creep up from the top of my window. I felt the intense desperation to move, to do something, for once again. I changed into caliginous garb and layered a hooded cloak. I went out of my room and into the corridors. All was quiet; I believed everyone was having their feast. I exited through the back doors discreetly. I began to run, as if I knew where I was going, which I didn't. The coast was near and so were the trading ports. Arendelle. A ship to Arendelle was what I needed.

I began searching, but stayed behind wooden crates. I was getting nowhere with my quest, but I spotted distressed crates with ARENDELLE marked on them. I looked to see the nearest ship, and dozens of men were carrying the ARENDELLE-inscribed boxes to the ship. Subconsciously, I carried one myself and followed. Despite my attire, no one noticed me, and I hoped it would stay that way.

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Ahh, short first chapter-- more like an introduction. Just wanted you readers to get in Hans' shoes for a little bit; they may not fit so well, but don't you worry, young grasshopper, they will soon break in...

Pardon my swearing but SH*T IS GOING TO HIT THE FAN. I REPEAT, SH*T WILL HIT THE FAN. It's all in my head right now and I'm trying to make it all flow. So, please stay eager and I'll keep updating!

Thanks! ^_^