Numb: The Postscript

VIII. Noèle Pt. 2

Étienne led me hurriedly into her room. There she was, settled into her bed, drinking a glass of water. She used her strength to give me a smile, and I could especially tell she was weak. She slowly put the glass down, her hand shaking, as if the glass became ten times weighted. She pulled the covers over herself and closed her eyes. Her breathing was fast-paced, but quiet, acting seemingly like the ticking of a clock. A clock that counted how much little time there is left. How much time Noèle had left.

Étienne spoke, his voice breaking, "I'll let you two have a m-moment." He left the room and closed the door carefully.

I just stood there. I was trying to comprehend... Everything.

Hemophilia. Internal bleeding. Her brain.

My memories started to reel.

"You can't hurt me... I'm already hurt, Hans. I'm sick. And you can fix me."

Her unexplained desperation for my love was now clarified. I was supposed to make everything better. To fix her.

"Please take care of her, Hans. She's fragile and young. Love for another is a new experience for her. Make it a good one."

Because this experience was going to be her first. And her last.

"Noèle grew up to be so much like her; mirrored images! The eyes, the hair, and the delicateness... They're too alike..."

Miss Margrete knew. Étienne knew. Even Noèle.

I wanted to cry at the moment because they were telling me what I needed to know, and I just let those words pass me by. I regained composure, but ran to her side. I grabbed her hand, and she intertwined her fingers with mine. She whispered; her eyes closed.

"Hans..."

"Noèle? Your father said you had internal bleeding... He-"

She grinned, "It must be my heart."

"Noèle... Don't say that."

"It's bleeding because I know I have to go... And it hurts..."

"B-But how? Why?" I stammered because I didn't want to tolerate the truth.

"Hans, it was worsening... The doctor said it shouldn't, but it's my brain... Papa saw the symptoms," she swallowed, "And he knew it would end the same, just like Maman. He knew I wanted you here."

I held her hand tighter. It was cold and shaking, and it acted as if it were numb. I tried to warm it like how it once warmed my cold hands. She opened her eyes, tears forming. I wanted to tell her before it was too late. Before I couldn't speak to her anymore.

I needed to tell her the undeniable truth- the truth that had stayed hidden and unknown for so long.

And it needed to be told.

"I love you, Noèle. I didn't know what it was at first, but I know now that it's love. Because of you, I can love. Because of you, I can smile. Because of you, I can live... I don't want you to go now... Please."

She smiled pleasantly, like when we first met, "Because of you, I have loved. Because of you, I have smiled. Because of you, I have lived."

"Noèle," I felt tears streaming down my cheeks, my muscles aching. I felt my heart hitting my chest. Why now? Why when I've finally found The One? The One who accepted me? The One who loved me despite my flaws, my monster?

"Hans, I don't want to die like this... Dying because of bleeding, hurting..."

I held her hand tighter again; I didn't want to lose her. I'm not ready to.

Her eyes were calling for me, "If your kiss will kill me, why don't you kill me... So I'll die happy?"

I did my best to smile for her. The tears continued to fall, however. She closed her eyes again. All was silent, and then my broken voice filled the room as I tried to sing a lullaby.

Do you want me to stay here

I'll keep your hand within mine

Noèle, why don't you stay with me

You how hard it'll be

For me to say goodbye

Can't you wait a little longer

It'll be you and me

Just for the rest of our lives

Do you want me to stay here

I'll hold your hand and I'll stay here

To kiss you goodnight

I could tell that she was weak. She tried to squeeze my hand tighter, trying to release the pain she was suffering. I leaned close to her. I was able to hear her constricted breathing. I kissed her smooth lips gently. I whispered, "Goodnight, my love."

She opened her wet eyes once more. In her soft voice, she whispered back, "Goodbye, my prince."

Her grey eyes were again hidden by her eyelids and thick lashes. Her incarnadine lips formed into an effortless simper. Her hand became warm and limp after I held onto it for so long, but I continued to hold it. I sat next to her and stayed awake, hoping that she would show her bright eyes once again.

Yet, they stayed hidden. And morning never came back after that night.

****

Hey, guys... I don't feel like I need to say much. Or even say anything at all.

I hope you guys aren't crying like me. I really grew attached to Hans and Noèle as a couple. They both changed because they loved each other. (shipping name: Hansèle? Like Hansel?)

I really liked writing the Do You Want Me to Stay Here (Do You Want to Build a Snowman theme) song.. And creds to Dashboard Confessional because their lyrics to Hands Down inspired the dialogue.

Oh, and Maman is like a French way to call a mother. And Noèle had haemophilia B (@weshallsee and I did late-night research). Just a side note. ;)

Anyway, I'll... just update next week.

Thanks boo! :')