Numb: The Postscript

VI. Fallen

The sky faded into a violet and then into pitch black darkness. We guided ourselves with the soft moonlight from overhead. I made sure that I protected Noèle from the frigid winds of the night with the warmth of my left arm that hung over her shoulders. My right arm dangled by my side, exhausted, after it had held Noèle tightly. Even though there was nothing suspicious in sight, I still felt the need to keep Noèle safe from any harm. I needed to protect her from a monster. My monster.

We arrived at the residence to find Étienne feeding Aksel. He squinted at us, and I still had my arm over Noèle. I quickly pulled it away, afraid that I might be in trouble with Étienne because of my close approximity to his daughter. Noèle greeted her father and walked into their house. Étienne gave me a stern expression, and I responded with a bewildered look on my face, even though I knew exactly why he was looking at me that way. I wanted to explain myself and only condensed breaths came out of my mouth.

Étienne's face relaxed, "My boy, why're you looking at me like that?" He began to chuckle. He walked towards me and gave an exaggerated wink. I was quite dumbfounded and Étienne inhaled, "Noèle seems to be getting quite comfortable with our guest. Heh. Is that right?" I gulped, and he continued, "Please take care of her, Hans. She's fragile and young. Love for another is a new experience for her. Make it a good one."

"You have my word, Étienne."

"Don't only have my word, boy. Please show it," Étienne began to walk toward his front door and I followed suit, "May I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"I know she has fallen for you, but the question is: have you fallen for her?"

I hesitated. I didn't even know. I just stood still, stranded in my thoughts, attempting to fathom my feelings toward Noèle. Étienne must've noticed; he opened the door, turned to me, and spoke in an understood manner, "Please come later for supper." He closed the door behind him, and I was mounted on their doorstep. My mind was begging for answers from my heart.

--

I was lying on the mattress, contemplating harshly about what I've gotten myself into; not too long ago, my father walked away from me and now, I was asked if I loved someone. I didn't know how to react to both situations. And then I started to think about my position in all of this— a missing prince who escaped punishment for treason. I found everything quite senseless, especially myself. I decided that I should just stop beating myself up for my previous stupidity, or even for my present imbecility. I rolled to my side and sat up. I unbuttoned my damp waistcoat and shirt, and looked at myself in the window's reflection. I located the prominent scar on my chest. I paid no mind to it, or at least avoided doing so. I undressed more, and changed into trousers and a shirt. I shaved my face to expose a clean jaw. No matter how much I tried to change physically, in the shadows, I was still that monster.

--

We were dining, and all was unusually quiet. Étienne would clear his throat occasionally, Noèle would awkwardly chew, and the clinking of my utensils sounded as if it could wake the dead. Surprisingly, Noèle spoke up, "Papa, how was the plaza today?"

Étienne seemed pleased with his daughter striking up a conversation, "Well, the kingdom's in silent chaos due to..." He looked up at me, with a surprisingly ghostly face, as if he was just reminded of something tragic, "The escape of a prince who is wanted for the attempted assassination of our royal family. So I guess I would say that the plaza was just fine."

His pretended apathy and nervousness stroke me as odd; not to mention his sudden pale complexion.

"Did you get the masks, Papa?"

"No, wait for them tomorrow, dear... Oh, that reminds me. Noèle, will you please excuse Hans and I as we both discuss something outside?" Noèle slightly nodded with a hint of perplexity. Étienne signalled me to follow him, and I scooted out of my chair cautiously. I tailed him and closed the door behind me. Étienne was fiddling with his hands, "Hans, I apologize for acting quite odd during supper. This is serious and I'm having cold feet." He reached into a breastpocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. He carefully unfolded it. He took a deep breath and read:

"Prince Hans Westergård of the Southern Isles is currently missing in action. He is the conspirator against our kingdom and the near-perpetrator of our monarchs, and he has been charged with treason. He is to be feared highly for his monstrous crimes. All suspicious persons should be reported to the palace immediately. The extremity of his cons is punishable by execution, so it is encouraged that everyone takes part in searching for Admiral Westergård. There have been unconfirmed reports that he may be in Arendelle from our trading ports, yet it is not guaranteed that he is, indeed, here in our kingdom. Again, this a reminder and precaution that he must be feared. Reward has not been decided, but will be given to those who have brought Admiral Westergård DEAD OR ALIVE."

He clenched the paper in his fingers. His eyes turned bloodshot and glassy, "They're going to kill you, boy. No mercy at all. I'm scared for your life! You aren't who they say you are." I looked down at him, and he was shaking his head. He believed in me and continued to be in denial. I know what I did and I'm willing to admit it. I put a hand on his shoulder as a sign that I understood the means even though I didn't want to accept the penalty. I know I am going to die one day, I thought, but why am I afraid to die now?

I kept asking myself why I feared death despite the fact I hated the life I was leading. I tried to find answers as I gazed through the window that was adjacent to the front door just to find Noèle sitting patiently.

Maybe because I had something to live for.

****

So sorry for the short chapter! It's supposed to be a transition to the next one (I have it all typed out! Wait till next week though, harhar!)

Wow, guys, I'm basically almost halfway done with this book (not the story, the book)! My mind is just turning into mush right now thinking about every single event that's going to happen.

And I wanna apologize if there's not a lot of action and whatnot. I want to remind readers that this is adventure through Hans' thought process and his psychology. His experiences are supposed to influence his thoughts, emotions, and ideas; and his thoughts, emotions, and ideas are supposed to influence his experiences as well. Does time, mercy, and forgiveness really heal? Think about that when you're in Hans' shoes.

Thank yah for the support! ;P