The Victim (A Mindless Behavior Story)

I Got Used To the Pain

Hey everyone, you thought I wasn't gonna update for weeks huh? Well no, I decided to write more often until we get back to school.

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Once I had gotten home, I just went to my room, I didn't have anything to say to anyone, as always. I just say down on my bed, and just let my mind drift off into space. I didn't want anyone bothering me at the moment, I just wanted to be alone. I needed time by myself I needed music in my ears that way I can think. I just stared at the wall and started crying in my knees.

It hurts to know that love doesn't exist for someone like me. That's all I asked for since I was a kid, but my brother was the one to get spoiled, or to get all the attention and love from mom, and the only person who loved me was my dad. See he was a Drug Lord back in Atlanta where I am originally from. He made a lot of money but he was the one that cared enough about me. My mom made us move away from him, because of all the money and the females and the men holding guns around us. But while he was "Lovely" yeah that was his name on the streets he was called that by how much he loved his money, and us, unlike most people he cared about us. He gave us a lot plus everything we had. He cared about us more than anything, which I why my mom made us leave him, even though he cared she didn't want us around this. Soon after that, that afternoon it was dinner and we could all feel the tension in the room, after we said grace. All my parents did was look at eachother, like pure hate was in their eyes.

They wanted us not to notice but it was hard when we could see it, and we were only 7 and 8 at the time. So soon after we just left the table and went in the Roc's room to talk.

" Trey, why we're mom and dad acting like that?" I asked

"Because they're about to argue, mom is mad at dad's choice of working and she wants to leave." He said carelessly

See Roc and I never seen eye to eye. Both of us got the love from both parents, but yet we felt neglected by both of them at the same time. I always got more attention from dad and he always had gotten more attention from mom. I always wanted mom to treat me like dad did, and Roc did for dad. Soon after while we we're lost in our thoughts they started arguing.

"Tatum, I can't take this anymore. I'm tired of seeing my kids in a life that they don't deserve to live like this. They deserve a calm and peaceful environment to live in, not this bullshit." We heard our mother say. She was right we did deserve better than this. But it's something we're used to. I mean it showed me that no one deserves to be trusted, that love didn't exist except for the things you want, that weapons are useful when necessary, that people only come in and out of your life, and to never give up. My dad did all of those things for protection of us and him. He wanted us to know that.

"I know that, but they also deserve to be loved and also shown the things in life that they need in order to make it, and holding a gun isn't what I was thinking." He said loudly.

"See my kids deserve more and better than that, and I know that. They don't need to be around with guns and people being killed left and right. They need peace and living environments in order to be peaceful growing up."

"See you always tried to baby them, T. They deserve better, Roc is a baby he needs to be a man by now, not selfish, and cold like he is now. " he said

"And Truensy's no better all I hear is her cry and whine to you about people and her problems. So if anyone needs strength it's her." She said. That hurt both our feelings to know that our parents felt that way. Even though it was true. I always ran to dad when I needed him, and he was there unlike mom, she was to busy with Roc to talk to me.

"My daughter is stronger than that I know it and one day she'll be the best I know she can be, I hope that for my son as well" he said quite truthfully.

"Trey is strong, hell after all this he better be" she said loudly

This fight was the worst I've heard. I never knew how my mom actually felt about me and I've only been in this world for 7 years. It hurts to know that she feels that way about me. I truly respect my dad for standing up for me. Soon after getting out of my thoughts I realized Roc was staring at me.

"What?" I asked him. "You" he said quite rudely. "What about me?" I said to him confused. "Dad always cared for you, more than me" he said. "Don't say that you know dad loves both of us. He wouldn't do us any different than eachother" I said and he knew that it's true.

Dad never did us wrong, it's just that he wasn't there as much as he should have been. But he did help us, and show us all the love that he had. All he wants is for us to be strong, to bad I got weaker as I got older. The only reason why Roc felt neglected was because I was daddy's girl, while he's mom baby boy. I guess we were both neglected growing up.

That's when I woke up out of my thoughts. I realized that I was hurt when we left. I wanted my dad there to comfort me like he did when I was younger, I mean Roc has mom but we never seen eye to eye since we came here. That's when I stopped talking, and laughing I became the person I am now. I guess I got used to the pain.

Soon after I just had put my Tims on and started dancing to "I'm Still" by DJ Khaled that's one of the songs that kept my spirits up, and because it was true.

Listen to it for the rest of the chapter.

"I'm Still" I said lowly and soon after I was moving my hips and going along with the beat. Soon after I was gone in my own world I was in a trance, I couldn't hear anyone. But my door soon opened it was Princeton I could feel his presents a mike away. I just ignored him.

"I like how you got me" he said holding my hips as I moved them. So I just let him he'll get hard and then I win once again.

"I like how your going to get hard sooner or later" I said truthfully.

"But you know you like me holding you, you know u want me" he said kissing my shoulder, considering I had on a tank top. All I did was keep moving and dancing like I did the only difference is he didn't let me go he moved with me. Next thing I know we fell. He caught me off guard soon after he was kissing me all over, from my neck to my stomach and back again, soon after I moaned. Now I knew he won a point. And now I was on edge, I flipped over and started to ride him, keep in mind we still had cloths on. I wanted to get him back as soon as he got hard I got off, making him angry.

"Mad or Nah?" I asked him

"You want me, and you know it your just using that boy as a boy toy to get to me." He said which wasn't all true, I would never hurt Roshon like that.

"I would never hurt Roshon like that I don't go around hurting people, unlike you I have the courtesy to treat most people with respect. " I said which was true, because I never hurt anybody as bad as they hurt me. Soon after he was angry. And he punched a wall where my head was close to. Then he left all I knew was that upset him, and that I was so used to the pain that I didn't even go after him, I just left it alone.

I'm to used to the pain to just let go.

Princeton - 6

True- 7

How was that? Hey everyone, love y'all so much. And also, I wanted to tell y'all I'm trying to update more for y'all. I'm actually finna update again tonight if you want me too.  I appreciate all the love I get everytime I update it brightens my day.

Love Your Favorite Writer, Tatiana

PS. Thanks to my friend Allissia, I'll update, so thanks her.

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