The Victim (A Mindless Behavior Story)

Now They Feel My Pain..

Hello to all of my aspiring writers, and readers of the story. I appreciate all the votes and comments you have given me. I love all the help with the story and all the love you give this story. I'm truly sorry for not updating I've been out of it lately but I'll do my best to make these next couple of chapters the best. Love Y'all.

It's been an entire week since the showcase and my mother let me stay home for only 2 days after seeing me with a fever and my eyes red and my face puffy, I personally was surprised that my parents were showing care for me, after a while of not giving a damn, I enjoyed them actually caring for once. They actually shown me affection, I thought it was all to good to be true, it wasn't really more than just checking on me, and making sure I was still breathing and not really saying a word to me besides here, and thanks, but for once it made me smile that affection was being shown. I had to get up and get ready for school. I've turned off all of my notifications on my phone since the showcase, because I'm already this sad, lonely, and abused girl, I have to much hate in myself it's ridiculous. But my mother insisted that I turn my phone back on, so I did. Only to see everything blown up, well only social networks, I don't text anyone well besides Brandon, and Daniel. I see that everyone is still talking shit about me and Roshon, and what he did. I just wanted to honestly cry but I can't anymore. I'm done crying. With that stuck in my head I went to get ready for school. I put on something simple, Gray and Red Ambercombie and Fitch shirt, with some red leggings and my gray long ugg boots, with some red lipstick and foundation under my eyes and some on my cheeks. With that I grabbed everything I needed and left the house into my car. I soon walked in, I was lucky that I had gotten to school early, that way I don't get the same stares I had gotten the night of the showcase. I walked into the studio only to see the boys I know rapping in there. It was none other that Brandon with Daniel and Roshon.

I soon tried to walk back out but, I was stopped by Brandon, giving me a look that should stay. He gave me a warm sweet hug, that's when everything started coming back. My eyes became watery, as he looked at me I wiped then away quickly before he could see them. I walked back in only to meet eyes with Roshon I just looked at him and looked away, but I could feel his beautiful eyes burn in my skull as I turned the other direction. I didn't say a word, my face said it all, I tried not to let it show but it was hard.

"Tru? " I heard them all say as they broken me out of my thoughts. "Yeah? " I answered in the sweetest tone I ever said to anyone.

"Are you going to be ok?"Daniel asked me with a scared tone, as he say next to me, giving me a hug.

"I don't know Diggy. I hope so. " I said reassuring him. But he knew I was lying.

"Don't you have something to say?" Daniel asked him.

"Nope" he said nonchalantly, and yet caring and hurt at the same time.

I was honestly hurt that Roshon had nothing to say, but I was just as guilty because I let him do it. I let him kiss me, touch me, caress me. I just wanted to crawl in my bed and cry, then go in the bathroom and cut myself, and add to the millions cuts I already had to my skin even though they started to heal since I haven't cut in a while. As I say there I heard their song playing their all,aspiring rappers and they all are really good.

"I like this track it's great." I said

"Thanks, this our favorite one to, because we all had a huge part in it because it has a lot of true stuff in here" Roshon said to me causing me to look down, not look back up. "Tru, can we talk? I know your angry and you have tension with me but don't act like it can go away just like that." Roshon said as he looked at me in the eye with his deep voice. I really didn't want to talk to him, I'm not letting this hurt me more that it already has. With that I left the room, only to see that he was right behind me. I soon sped off only to be watched by everyone in the hallway stare at me, with pure eyes of weird and angry looks that I was here. See this is why I didn't want to come to school.

I just ran to my car, I wanted to leave the Earth so bad right now, the pain was unbearable, I soon just got back out and walked back in when I realized I had till, November to kill myself. The plan was back on they have been making jokes, and I know Princeton is coming in to do the final deed. It irritated me that Roshon kept blowing up my phone, bothering me saying we need to talk, and that he's sorry, it's to late to apologize. I walked around school the way I used to, quiet and I tried not to be seen, which was hard since everyone kept staring at me, mocking me, making me feel worser than I already do, I just left the cafeteria, with everything I had and went to the one place no one would find me, the place where no one would look, the library. I haven't been there in a while, I only walked in to see the one person I have been ignoring all day. Roshon.

He got up in my face and said stop ignoring me and since I couldn't run because Brandon and Daniel were guarding all the doors. I had no choice but to listen.

"I know your not talking to me, and have been ignoring me all day, about what happened. You have every right to be mad but don't take it out on yourself, because I can see that you have been crying and sitting in corners shaking. Truensy, I want you to be happy for once in your life, but your not letting yourself be happy. Look I know that what I did was uncalled for but you can't lie and say you didn't enjoy it, and that it didn't make you feel somewhat better." He said looking at me in the eyes staring at me, trying to read me.

"I did enjoy it, it did make me feel somewhat better that you cared, but that's over, it's my fault I let you do it, and my fault I let you caress me knowing that someone was watching me the whole time. I knew your intentions weren't what they seemed but your with the people that I can't trust, love, or care for, so you can apologize all you want, I honestly forgive you, but not for you but for me. " I said bluntly as I looked at him in the eye and not taking my eyes off him. He look crushed that I didn't care, but at the same time hurt his feelings. I had a tad but of sympathy for him but that's it.

With that they let me leave. Today has really been a bad day. I was walking into class, with everyones eyes on me. I hate being at the center of attention I just put in my headphones, and started listening to a calming song, that at the same time matched my emotions. It was by Jhene Aiko, called 3:16 am. It was nice and calm and I played at a good volume. I was relaxed until, my brother and the gang, walked in. Now I was really about to fight.

"Awe look at little Tru, you mad? I see you wasn't mad when Roshon had you moaning." Prince said he looked angry at me. Like we were together. Like I cheated on him. I already feel ashamed and here they come.

"Look I'm not in the mood for your bullshit, and I don't know why your talking to me, when Angela is a hoe but your ass stayed with get for the longest. Then you and Roc we're sneaking around with eachother's ex, and you call me nasty, when y'all probably have a STD. Fuck off with your shit." I said to them in a rude tone, everyone was shocked that I stood up for myself and stood my ground.

With that they did shut up until something else happened, Princeton punched me square in the face. That's when I got up and punched him back. Seconds later it was one of the most brutal brawls we ever had in this school. It became so bad that once he bashed my head on the desk, and I hit him with one good punch and soon after he bashed my head against the wall, and and soon after Brandon and Roshon came and grabbed me and took me to the hospital, but by the time they made it, I was knocked out.

As for Princeton, he was in the state of rage, a lot of people were worried because he's the one that took it to far, it was scary for all of us, but I'm fighting back, but my fighting won't last for long, soon I'll be gone and none of them will have to love with my horrible ass again, I cause to much pain, even to myself, there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about what I've done, or what I caused to my family or the gang.

But there is a bright side to this, they can finally understand my pain. As I saw them all hoping I was ok, that way they can end me themselves, even my mom and dad were upset, it was sad to watch, I didn't want to cause all this pain, am I that bad? I have one month, since it's the start of September. That's when I can take my life, on my terms. They feel my pain for once. Wow.

Hey, how was it? Sorry if it's boring or stupid I really tried this chapter, I kept rewriting it and rewriting it over and over again. I really tried to please you guys. I'm so sorry for not writing again but I'm back and I'll try to update more, I promise.

I truly do love you guys. And I thank you for everything.
             Love, Your Favorite Writer Tatiana.

PS: if you want me to read a story, your story, or help I would love to, oh and if there are any good Roc or Prod stories to read that would be awesome.