Is It Still Me That Makes You Sweat!

I Want To Forget, But I Can't!

Brendon's POV:

When we get to Spencer's house, I get out of the car and walk with Spencer to the door. Spencer looks at me worried and puts a hand on my shoulder. He knows about me and Ryan, and when Ryan left, he was there for me.

"It'll be alright Brendon." He tells me as Dallon and Ryan walk up to the door. Spencer unlocks the the door and we walk in and sit down in the living room. We sit there for a few minutes silent until Dallon starts to talk.

"Well, I guess we should get started." He says.

"Yeah, we should. Let me get some paper and a pen." Spencer says, get up from next to me to get paper and pens. He comes back with a notebook and pens. "When we come up with some, I'll write them." He says and we nod.

As Spencer, Ryan, and Dallon come up with some lyrics, I can't stop thinking about what has happened. First I need to end my marriage, and now, Ryan is back.

"Brendon!" I hear someone say.

"What.." I ask.

"I asked if you are okay. You haven't said anything." Dallon asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I say.

"Are you sure Brendon?" Ryan asks, looking worried. I just brush it off.

"I have some lyrics." I say.

"Alright, let's hear it." Spencer says.

"Even though I want to forget you, I think of you every day and wonder if we can make it again." I say, looking at them.

"I like that." Dallon says.

"Is that about about Sarah?" Spencer asks. I look at him and he seems to understand my eyes. I look at Ryan and he is looking down and I hear him sigh a little.

"Alright, any other ideas guys?" Dallon asks. We talk for another couple of hours.

"Alright, I have to go. I told Breezy I would meet her and the kids at the movie theater. I don't want to be late." Dallon tells us getting up.

"Alright, see you later Dallon." I say and Spencer and Ryan say bye.

"I think I'm going home too." I say to them.

"Brendon, do you think I could get a ride home since it's on the way to your house?" Ryan asks me.

I start to sweat and feel a little sick. I look at them, and Spencer is looking at me worried. I bite my lip and say "Yeah, let's go Ryan. Bye Spencer."

"Thanks. Bye Spencer." Ryan says.

"Bye Brendon, bye Ryan." He says as we walk out the door. We get in my car and I start driving. I say nothing and neither does Ryan until I pull in front of his house.

"Brendon, why are you ignoring me?" He asks.

"I'm not ignoring you Ryan. I'm just still shocked." I tell him.

"Why are you shocked?" He asks.

"I don't know, maybe because you left the band and left me an Spencer alone because you took Jon with you. We almost gave up on the band. I'm glad Spencer talked me into us becoming duo or else Panic! wouldn't be a band anymore, and now you want to join the band again after almost 4 years." I tell him.

"Brendon, there is more to this then you are saying." He says looking at me. He can still read me.

"Yes there is." I say, sighing.

"What is it?" He asks.

"The fact that we broke up and as soon as we did that, you left the band.. You left me. I still loved you Ryan." I say, a tear falling from my eye.

"Brendon, I.. I loved you still too, but I thought since I broke up the relationship, you would hate me. That is why I lift, so the band wouldn't be affected." Ryan says, whipping my tear away.

"Really?" I ask.

"Yeah, I knew you guys could make it without me in the band, and Jon decided on his own to come with me. I tried to talk him out of it. I'm sorry Brendon. Can we be friends again?" He asks, looking at me with his big brown eyes.

"Yeah, we can. Hey, how about you stay with me tonight so we can catch up?" I say, smiling.

"That would be awesome. Let me go get some stuff, be right back." He says getting out of the car and walking to his house. It looks like I have my friend back, but I can't tell him I still love him.