My Wildest Dreams

#7

Well I certainly didn't wake up feeling better and I'm too late for breakfast but I'm not really in the mood anyways. The fact that I'm now sitting in awkward silence yet again in Drew's car does not help and I just get the feeling that that's just the beginning of it for today. I'm really not looking forward to the rest of this day and school with the girls and lunch with them and Drew and his gang isn't going to make it any better.

My first class is Irish and as usual I'm the first one there. I sit waiting for others to arrive. None of the girls are in this class but Jason and Brendan are. They are the next to arrive.
"Hey Marissa." Both guys say with a smile as they enter the room and take a seat near me.
"Hey." I say with a nod and small smile. More people start to fill the room including the teacher which means it's time for the day to start beating me up.

It's now lunch and we are all sitting in the canteen, we being the girls, Drew and his crew and myself. So far today I've had a surprise test that I most likely failed my pen burst in maths and then in geography my tipex burst. And to top it all off I had a nose bleed all through French and fainted in accounting which was the class after French as I lost so much blood with the nosebleed and had no breakfast this morning. They made me stay in the office for all of accounting after I fainted to eat and get some sugar in me to see if it would help. It did, hence how I'm sitting here in the canteen with everyone. I'm starting to think there is no way this day could get any worse but I just have this feeling that I haven't even got to the worst of it yet.

Everyone is conversing at the table except me and Drew I just don't feel like talking to anybody right now and Drew is watching me with a curious expression like I'm some mysterious mystical creature from some fiction novel. And that's not making me feel any better right now. It's nearly time to go back to class and I still have to get my books.
"I'm going to go to my locker before the bell goes." I mumble as I get up from my spot not watching to see what was going on around me, causing me to bump into someone which in turn causes them to stumble and spill their water all over me. Thank god it was only water. I quickly apologise and run out of the canteen and into the girls bathrooms, and cry.
"Over reacting much!" I say to the pathetic person I see in the mirror. But to tell you the truth it's not an over reaction it just my first actual reaction to the whole day or the last few days if I'm honest.

I go to my locker and get my books just as the first bell goes and make my way to class. Before I know it classes are finished, school is over and it's time to go home. It is still unfortunately an awkward silence and to make it worse I feel like a complete and utter idiot for what happened at lunch.

Shortly after leaving the school we arrive back at the house. We greet Sheila and she gives us a hug, hugging me a bit longer than usual with this unreadable expression on her face, letting us know she is starting dinner and it's going to take about an hour and a half but she will call us when it's ready. She doesn't seem as peppy as she usually is.

I go up to my room to start my homework before dinner but I no sooner have my door closed and my phone starts ringing. I immediately answer it seeing it's my mother and I haven't talked to her dad or Zack since Saturday morning.
"MOM!" I shriek down the phone happy to be talking to her.
"Hi Marissa..." she says quiet and slow which immediately worries me.
"What's happened to Zack?" I ask, my eyes watering knowing something must be going wrong with him.
"It's not looking good sweetheart... his treatments aren't working they are going to try him on a new one and at a high dose but they aren't to optimistic." I can hear the sadness in my mothers voice and know that the tears are rolling down her face just as uncontrollably as they are mine.
"Can I talk to him? I know there is no point in asking to be there cause your answer will be no but please please let me talk to him." I ask sobbing down the phone uncontrollably.
"Okay...okay. I'll put you on to him but sweetheart he's very tired and not talking so much he just hasn't got energy. He has no strength. But if you're sure. And know he doesn't want you experiencing him like this. And you know that. But he is your brother."
"Mom just please please put him on the phone." She sighs a heavy sigh.
"Okay her you go"
"No Mom no." I can hear Zack's weak voice as my mother hands him the phone.
"Just please talk to her Zack you know how she cares about you."
"Alright." Zack replies and takes the phone off my Mom.
"Hey Maz." He sounds so weak it causes me to start sobbing again.
"Hey... I want to ask how your feeling out of habit but I think I already know the answer."
"Look Maz don't worry about me. I'm gonna be fine."
"You don't know that Zack." I say crying down the phone.
"Hey hey, don't cry. Look I know they say that I'm not strong enough and all that but I have to have hope okay." Now I can hear him crying I know he's scared I can hear it in his voice but he is trying to be strong for me, for everyone, cause he knows we aren't strong enough. I nod even knowing he can't see me.
"Yeah... Okay. But just please make sure to call me if it gets worse. Or better yet call me everyday even just to say hi and I say hi and then you hang up the phone but just so I know your still here. Please?"
"I will Maz. I will. Okay I gotta go time for the nurse to check blood pressure and all that."
"Okay. Bye Zack love you."
"Love you too baby sis." And he hangs up the phone.
"I'm going down to Sheila" I say to myself not even really knowing if I'm saying it out loud or in my head but I know that's where I need to go.