New Rogues In Town

Chapter 5: Shit

"Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!" I exclaimed, walking through the door.

Joya just continued to look at me while I ranted. The whole car ride home I cursed so much it would make a sailor blush. She had just sat there, silently grinning.

"What am I going to do? He's an alpha. I am a rogue. He's a jerk, and well, so am I. He's been handed everything on a silver platter and I have nothing. I have nothing but baggage, secrets, and a daunting history. I don't want anyone else. I'm fine with just you. Shit." I exclaimed again throwing my hands around and then falling exhausted to the couch.

"He's your mate Cat. The goddess doesn't make mistakes. Plus, he's extremely handsome. I would love to be in love with him or vica versa!" She sighed dreamily. I unconsciously growled.

Let me explain it, the goddess is our maker. I was too young when my pack was killed to know anything about the goddess. My dad never taught me anything. My brother tried to tell me the basics, but we always thought we had more time to go in depth. So I had done some research, after I was made rogue, at a library in some random town we spent a few nights in. There were books upon books about our existence but I only found one that seemed as close to the stories my older brother used to tell me. "The Goddess" was the name of the book. I know right, how not obvious. I remember reading it for hours that day. When the first werewolf was made, he was perfect. She made him as a companion, a child if you will. I guess it is where the phrase "a dog is a man's best friend" came from. After a few decades, he became feral and restless. So, the goddess split his soul and made a female wolf.  She made the male an alpha and the female a Luna, titled after the moon goddess herself. She then made 10 other sets of alphas and lunas like them. They were to mate and populate the werewolf community. Only a half of a soul for each was genetically reproduced resulting in mates. Mates are stronger together. They are loyal and are weak where the other is strong and vica versa. Mates, soul mates, perfected each other. And now, I have one, I am one.

"Shit." I cursed silently.

Joya stayed up with me for a while just trying to calm me down. It isn't exactly that I don't want Carter. I kind of do. He is extremely sexy, I can just imagine his muscles flexing as he moves, from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet and everywhere in between. Oh my, I 'need to get these thoughts out of my head.

I just don't know how to love people. I've always been on my own. Joya is the only person I have ever loved or trusted and that's because she knows what I have been through. We share a past, a past that Carter wouldn't understand. He would reject me if he knew what I've done, if he knew my secret. I don't want to hurt anyone or be hurt. It's best to just keep to myself. Plus, being a jerk makes it easier.

"I have to get to bed. I have my first class tomorrow." Joya said, giving me a deep passionate kiss, excusing herself from the living room. "Get some sleep. It will all work out, I'm sure." There's no telling how she's feeling. Will things change between us too?

I finally drag myself down the hall and into my bedroom, exhaustion finally overwhelming me. I pulled out my Pink Floyd t-shirt from my dresser and a pair of lacey black boy short panties, then made my way into the bathroom. Looking at myself in the mirror, a frown made its way to my face. My curls have fallen. I brush out the nappy strings some would call hair and put it up in a messy bun. I took my time removing my "smoky eye" make up which now is border-lining the "hooker in the back ally way after a good time" look. I brushed my teeth and then stumbled out of the bathroom with intentions of collapsing on the bed.

 I guess my eyes were shut because I practically ran into the wall. Hmm, I didn't remember a wall being here. I also didn't remember my wall having a heartbeat. Has delirium set in? Am I going crazy? I alarmingly open my eyes at the realization that this wall is actually a person. My first instinct was to kick this person between the legs. I managed to run behind "said person" and jump on their back. By their knee-like position and the moan escaping from the person's mouth, I concluded he was male.